Let's create some Mayhem.... v.2 Son of Mayhem

[McGee]

Originally Posted by greggyboy

Man’s Testicles Fall off Due to Cellphone Overuse

Greggyboy
[M]ayhem Press

snip

nice, but teabagging is when you dip your nuts in someone's mouth, not over their eyeballs

[greggyboy]

Originally Posted by mc gee

nice, but teabagging is when you dip your nuts in someone's mouth, not over their eyeballs

. Can we bend the rules for a little bit?

[TheJesus]

Children getting into 'Bricking'
Dangerous New Prank Causes Massive Property Damage

With the advent of the internet, social posturing has become almost a pasttime. With this new social system being put into the hands of children, newer and more dangerous pranks have been recently invented and created to prove to other children how impressive they are.

Bricking, as the prank is called, is an almost riotous act that involves a brick, a window and a piece of paper. The piece of paper has an obcene message or picture placed on it, it is tied around a brick, and the brick is then projected through the intended victims house. The attacks seem random to any person. One day it will be somewhere in a rural county. The next might be a string in the inner city. This 'prank' has caused nearly a million dollars in damages accumulated since 2004.

The only known preventative measure is to stop your children from doing it. Make sure that they have little to no access to bricks. Limiting bandwidth to your house and creating a safe internet enviroment will help stem the tide of this plague of damage.

[TheJesus]

Ideas -

Milk Duds contain deadly fungus
Funsize candy choaking hazard
Record breaking bag size reflects america's obesity
Funsize candy's expand to regular size, regular becomes king, new supergigantic size introduced
Einstein had the Runs
Theory of relativity predicts increasing weight of Americans
New Telescope shows Geocentric universe to be correct.
Black Person Steals over 250 TV's in a single night
Cranberry sauce - Elixer of Death
Candy Corn
Thanksgiving Dinner - Cornucopia of Calamity
Root Canal's linked to Martians
Matza - Unleavened Death
Peeps - Tasteless, formless, disturbing cancer.

[Elle Macpherson]

sounds good, will come back (.folder'd)

[Kray]

Black Person Steals over 250 TV's in a single night

!!

[Echinsu Ocha]

"Move over Arnold!"
Christopher Walken to run as Candidate in 2008 Election
By Mike Hawkiches, New York Life and Entertainment

On Tuesday August 9, Actor Christopher Walken, 62, held a private press release at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York. It was held for his announcement that he will be running for the Presidency of the United States in the 2008 Election. The Queens native, who starred in such films as Mouse Hunt and Catch Me If You Can, was commented to say “I have always been a follower of politics. My grand father, on my mother’s side, was the mayor of Schodack (NY) back in the 1940’s. He would take my hand. We would walk the streets, of Schodack, and the people, they would wave to him. The children. They adored him. That is what I love, to be, a man of respect and love.”
When questioned we did not receive a comment from Walken himself but his agent, Joel Grossman, had to say “Mr. Walken has greatly admired the celebrities who have entered politics and he wants to be able to give a good name and reputation to the acting community as well as the political community. As for going national with this news we have not made any plans for the immediate future. Thank you.”
You can currently catch Christopher Walken in the new hit comedy Wedding Crashers.

[uXb]

Trace amounts of powerful hallucinogen found in several Dead Sea Scrolls.
Saturday, August 7th, 2005
Researchers at The Orion Center for the Study of the Dead Sea Scrolls at The University of Jerusalem announced this Saturday that in recent tests performed on the Dead Sea Scrolls, faint traces of the drug Lysergic acid diethylamide, or LSD, were discovered. The effects of LSD are unpredictable. They depend on the amount taken; the user's personality, mood, and expectations; and the surroundings in which the drug is used. The physical effects include dilated pupils, higher body temperature, increased heart rate and blood pressure, sweating, loss of appetite, sleeplessness, dry mouth, and tremors. Sensations and feelings change much more dramatically than the physical signs. Some researchers speculate that this could explain some of the more "colorful," verses of the relatively recently discovered writings. Professor Rachel Elior (Department of Jewish Philosophy, The Hebrew University) cites an example:

And I, the Sage,
declare the grandeur of my radiance
in order to frighten and terrify
all the spirits of the angels
and the young spirits,
Children, Lambs, Herd and [Wolves...]
and those who strike unexpectedly
to lead astray physical innocence....

Researchers at the Center continue their work in an effort to determine if it was merely proximity to the powerful drug that caused the texts to be coated, or if perhaps the writer of the scrolls themselves had been privy to use, thereby exposing both the parchment they were using, and the content of their writing to the effects of the drug.

The Dead Sea Scrolls are a collection of about 850 documents, including texts from the Hebrew Bible, which were discovered between 1947 and 1956 in eleven caves in and around the Wadi Qumran, near the ruins of the ancient settlement of Khirbet Qumran, on the northwest shore of the Dead Sea. They were written in Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek, sometime between the 2nd century BC and the 1st century AD. The texts are important since they are practically the only Jewish Biblical documents from that period, and because of what they can tell about the political and religious context.

Meh?

[workingnonstop]

00000

[DarK AngeL DreaD]

"Move over Arnold!"
Christopher Walken to run as Candidate in 2008 Election
By Mike Hawkiches, New York Life and Entertainment
(snip)

If we can collect the $35 to register a domain name, I will make a campaign website. Not some lame-o fan site of "we want Walken", but the official campaign site of the Walken in 2008 campaign. It'll be like an [M] pet project for the next three years.

Anybody in? Paypal a few bucks and we can have a bonzai-kitty time!

[greggyboy]

I'll do some more tomorrow.

[TheJesus]

Originally Posted by DarK AngeL DreaD

If we can collect the $35 to register a domain name, I will make a campaign website. Not some lame-o fan site of "we want Walken", but the official campaign site of the Walken in 2008 campaign. It'll be like an [M] pet project for the next three years.

Anybody in? Paypal a few bucks and we can have a bonzai-kitty time!

I wish I had paypal. Whip up a basic site and send it to TheJesus@comcast.net and I will see if I will be getting paypal soon.

[G-Daddy]

http://www.groped.us/temp/music/12_-_Gorgo_Boogie.mp3

[teh fucking loser]

the first version of this thread had me laughing for hours

[TheJesus]

Originally Posted by tehmay

the first version of this thread had me laughing for hours

That is why I believed a resurrection was possible.