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There's shovels full of sand in my vagina, and the GMs just laughed at me. NO, YOU ARE MAKING A BIG
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this whole idea makes me giggle like a school girl
great job
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My title makes no sense. |
08-15-2005, 02:18 AM
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#901
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08-15-2005, 02:20 AM
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#902
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Friday, April 4, 2003
Chris Walken For President  The major disappointment for me this year at the Oscars wasn’t Martin Scorsese being passed over for someone who fled the country 30 years ago to avoid statutory rape charges. It wasn’t the fact that Daniel Day-Lewis came back with a vengeance from a five-year break from being the best actor in the world, only to be snubbed by the members of the Academy. And,a while not being able to see Joan Rivers deliver her trademark incredibly obnoxious and judgmental comments about the wardrobes of our favorite celebrities was certainly disappointing, I’d have to say that what really hurt the most about the ceremony was that I wasn’t given the chance to see Chris Walken deliver an acceptance speech for Best Supporting Actor — that’s because he didn’t win, not just because I wasn’t watching. As far as I’m concerned, for my money it just doesn’t get much better than an appearance by Walken. Besides being a great actor in some great movies (The Deer Hunter, Suicide Kings, The King of New York), he’s got the ability to make anything better. I don’t really care what the movie is — I’ve read reviews of Kangaroo Jack that didn’t quite hit the grade of F only because of his role. Only God knows what he was thinking there, but it doesn’t really matter, he was in it and that’s all that counts. Another movie he managed to brighten up through a short appearance was as a janitor in — yes, I’m sorry to say I actually saw this one — Joe Dirt. Only Walken could take a terrible line like “No, you’re talkin’ to him all wrong. Do it again, I’ll stab you in the FACE with a soldering iron” and make it funny. Besides this type of strange line, he has a claim to what I consider to be the best monologue of all time — the speech given to young Butch Coolidge in Pulp Fiction regarding his daddy’s very special watch. He (and, to be fair, John Cusack and Billy Crystal) even made me find America’s Sweethearts to be a pretty funny movie — don’t tell anyone about that one, though. This guy’s got the capacity to make pretty much anything he’s in better, be it through unintentional humor (he’s just so weird that his delivery of most lines can make me laugh) or through the great sense of humor that he does have — look at how many times he’s hosted “Saturday Night Live.” There must be a reason they keep asking him to come back, playing such well-loved roles as Bruce Dickinson (“I got a fevah, and the only prescription is more cowbell”) and the Continental. Walken’s most effective humor, for me, mainly comes from the fact that he has an uncanny ability to emphasize the wrong syllables in words and make it look like it’s completely natural. In the “SNL” skit in which he’s a decidedly strange man who is faced with some really “tough” questions asked of him by a census taker. His pronunciation of the phrase “candy bars” (“CANdy BAHs”), complete with the speech equivalent of a bizarre three-eighths note pause between the words, is the kind of thing I’m talking about here. The Onion has an absolutely fantastic “column” written by him about how much he loves hot dogs — I’m not joking, this thing is several hundred words long, and imagining him actually saying these things provides quite a bit of entertainment, at least for me. Those qualities aside, I’d have to say that my favorite little fact about him is something I learned recently. Apparently he makes every effort to make sure to work a little jig or dance into his roles in each movie he’s in. This is a guy who loves to make movies and certainly loves putting his own personal spin on things. He did a fantastic several-minute dance for the Fatboy Slim video for “Weapon of Choice,” during which the self-satisfied look on his face was priceless. All in all, I manage to find some level of enjoyment in everything this guy does, be it a terrible movie, a strange music video, or a skit on a “Saturday Night Live” that’s managed to become incredibly unfunny recently. He’s got a lot to offer in the years to come, as his flattop hairstyle and wrinkled face lend him much more credibility in the “creepy” and “possibly insane” departments. Those eyes still have the same potency they’ve had since he started his acting career (on Broadway, no less!). So, please, keep it up, Chris. Even if it’s in tripe like The Country Bears and Prophecy 3: The Ascent. As long as you give off that patented vibe, I’ll probably wind up paying some attention to whatever you decide to lend your talents to, even if I don’t quite understand why you’re doing it to yourself. |
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08-15-2005, 02:21 AM
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#903
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Isnt there supposed to be an 'O' in 'country'? Nope
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i only read that one post and i fucking hate her guts |
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08-15-2005, 02:22 AM
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#904
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Damn, now I'm interested. |
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08-15-2005, 02:25 AM
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#905
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IN SPAAAAACE
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MERCHANDISE
MERCHANDISE MERCHANDISE MERCHANDISE MERCHANDISE MERCHANDISE NEED STUFF TO BUY
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"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons." -Russian military doctrine. |
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08-15-2005, 02:25 AM
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#906
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¯ WHO LIKES TO ROCK THE PARTY? WHO LIKES TO ROCK THE PARTY? _ |
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08-15-2005, 02:26 AM
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#907
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Isnt there supposed to be an 'O' in 'country'? Nope
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take your own advice bitch, base your vote on politics not "fuckin freaky" ness |
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08-15-2005, 02:26 AM
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#908
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IN SPAAAAACE
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any update on the foxnews clip?
chens?
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"The best tank terrain is that without anti-tank weapons." -Russian military doctrine. |
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08-15-2005, 02:26 AM
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#909
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this is plot from http://plot.brainwashed.us
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that takes it from a funny parody website to a scam
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everything you need to know for genmay is right here: http://www.brainwashed.us/plot/index.html drama...... who needs General [H]ospital when you got General [M]ayhem? |
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08-15-2005, 02:27 AM
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#910
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http://www.cafepress.com/cwalken2008 |
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08-15-2005, 02:27 AM
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#911
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John Locke's protégé, Stewie Griffin's mentor & Avril Lavigne's bit on the side
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How have I not stumbled into this thread already?
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Lard's favourite [M]embers: Hoglysis, antisechs, marflord, ShockTheMonkey, Tramp, Seaweed, malamute face, OddFactor, tard699.jpg MentallyInept's internet daddy........<3 Avril........UK Represent |
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08-15-2005, 02:29 AM
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#912
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i think he meant stuff for US to buy. not like on the actual website. i could be wrong, however. i'm really considering getting one of those shirts...even though they're iron-on...temptation! |
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08-15-2005, 02:29 AM
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#913
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Yeah, you about summed it up. Started laughing at "At the moment, we're being controlled by media conglomerates, corporate franchises, and..." |
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08-15-2005, 02:30 AM
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#914
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Me too... that stuff always make me 
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[M]ember of the infamous Genmay Drawball Team Grim & Frostbitten Krve, Florida chapter |
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08-15-2005, 02:31 AM
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#915
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 Thread Tools |
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