Iron Chef Fat Burger presents: stew! (39 pictures, 2.93MB)

[Fat Burger]

For all you college students, or anyone else looking for cheap food that will feed an army, here's a how-to on making good stew. Especially good if you live in dorms, because the smell will make everyone else want some, and you can probably sell stew for $3 a bowl and make good money off it.

First off, ingredients: bread (optional), beer (recommended IPA or ESB for this type of stew, a stout for thicker stews), beef, carrots, potatoes, onion, garlic, beef bullion, and parmesan cheese (optional with bread, not pictured). Note the George Foreman grill to the left. The toaster will not be used in this demonstration, nor will the Christmas lights.


Closeup of ingredients on right.


First off, put some water in a pot. Remember that the ingredients will make the water level rise drastically.


Make sure you wash the carrots (as well as everything else, of course). Whether or not you peel them is up to you. I don't.


Cut the carrots at an angle. Why, I hear you ask? Stop asking questions, just do it. Because I said so. It's important to cut them unevenly to avoid the "processed" look. Otherwise people might not realize that you made the stew yourself, and knowing how to cook will score major points with the ladies (so I hear, anyway).


You can even "accidentally" cut one of the ends off at a right angle, for even further realism. Put the carrots in a bowl to the side.


Next up, potatoes! Washed and ready to go. Again, whether or not you peel them is up to you. Most people (including me) don't.


Cut the potato in half lengthwise


Then half lengthwise again


Then cut it into cubes, as shown. Add the potatoes to the pot of water.

[Fat Burger]

Now, the onion.


Cut the onion into quarters. This is best for removing the skin, and cooking it in large chucks for easy removal (if you don't like actually eating the onion, like me).


After you've cut and peeled them, you'll end up with this, ready for easy insertion (tee hee I said "insertion"). Add them to the pot of water


Your pot should look roughly like this.


Garlic! This is a whole bulb, you only need...


...four cloves or so. Add however many you want.


The way to skin garlic cloves is to smash them under the knife, slightly crushing them and making the skin break, as shown.


After that, they peel nicely. Note the spot on the largest clove, I cut that out after this picture was taken.


Easiest thing is to cut the garlic into slices. Put them on a small plate to the side.

[Fat Burger]

Beef bullion packets, ready to be added to the pot.


Mmm...artificial flavoring...
At this point you want to add the beer (and bullion). It'll look like the below. Turn on the stove, bringing the pot to a boil.


Time to cook the beef. Knock out the fat, George!


While the beef is cooking, let's turn our attention to the bread. This is a loaf of sourdough, highly recommended.


Cut the bottom inch or so off.


Store brand parmesan cheese!


Cover the bread with parmesan, and chop up a couple of cloves of garlic, using the steps above (but chopping, not slicing)


Spread the garlic on the bread as well, and lay the bread to the side.


Checking on the stew, looks close to a boil.


The beef is done, so we take if off the grill and lay it aside.

[Fat Burger]

The grill is hot, so we might as well use it to fry up the sliced garlic from before. It'll only take a couple of minutes.


That taken care of, let's turn our attention to the dome part of the bread. This will become our bowl. Scoop out the filling.


The bread from inside can be made into a ball to form an indoor-safe weapon with which to prey upon unsuspecting roommates.


Garlic is done frying, this is about what it should look like. You can fry it a little more if you want.


The water has started to boil, so we'll turn it down slightly and add the carrots.


Bringing it back up to a boil.


Stirred up and fully cooked. To ensure your stew is done, check the softness of the potatoes and carrots with your fork. Both should be easily cut, but not mushy.


Take the flat part of the bread and stick it in the oven for about 5 minutes at the highest temperature your oven provides (usually 500 degrees). It'll now be nice and toasted.


Here is your bowl and toasted parmesan garlic bread (sliced for easy eating). The parmesan and garlic that fell off the bread as I cut it went into the bread bowl to add extra flavoring to the stew.


The finished product - stew, parmesan garlic bread, and your choice of beverage (in my case, milk). I still have quite a bit of stew left, I'll probably be eating nothing but that for about three days. Remember that bread bowls are not designed to be watertight, so I only put the meat, potatoes and carrots in the bowl, no juice.

[G-Daddy]

[G-Daddy]

fuck. missed

[McGee]

shut up

[Fat Burger]

Yes, I know my stove is disgusting, thanks for noticing

EDIT:
Nice sniping, idiots

[G-Daddy]

can't believed you had this already typed up and everything

[lopoetve]

well... now what?

damnit, missed too

[Fat Burger]

Originally Posted by G-Daddy

can't believed you had this already typed up and everything

Notepad > yuo

[tH Conscript]

first page

[d4rkspike]

im hungry now, thanks jackass

[G-Daddy]

did you guess at the letter count or what?

[CumGuzzlingFag]

looks good, but your not in college.