Sex Acts I have NOT tried...

[IshI]

Have you tried any of these?




Blumpkin (noun)
A slang word for a female performing oral sex on a male while he is using the bathroom. Popularized in canada.

Brown Necktie (noun)
A slang term for an act during anal intercourse, before the man has orgasmed, in which he pulls out and thrusts his penis between the womans breasts, leaving a brown streak between them.

Admiral (noun)
A slang term for when hitting it doggy style you slap her arms out from under her and steer her face first around the room/bed/back of your car.

Abraham (noun)
A slang term for when you make a man bleed from his ass and you preform oral sex on him while he is bleeding. See- Amish Plow (noun)

Chicken Cutlet (noun) aka Angry Seagull
A slang term for when a male has sex with a female on the beach, and in the middle of intercourse the male takes out his penis dips it in the sand and sticks it back into the female.



Chunneling or Monroe Transfer(verb)

The act of using a transparent tube to pass feces between two or more partners. Traditionally between 2 men. The tube is placed into the anus of the users, and fecal matter is then mixed and passed between.



Clown Face (noun)
A slang term for when you ejaculate on a partners face, then punch them in the nose, making their eyes wide and nose red.

Danger Wank (noun)
A slang term for when a guy masturbates and just before he is about to cum, he shouts for his mom, and tries to ejaculate and clean up before she gets there.

David Copperfield (verb)
When a man is doing a woman doggystyle, just before ejaculating, he spits on her back giving her the "illusion" of finishing. When she turns around, he then unloads on her face.
See also - houdini, secret service

Divoting (verb)
A slang term for while doing somebody doggy style, you reach around and rip out a clump of their pubic hair.

Doing The Blonde Bastard (verb)
To be given homosexual loving from a spotty annoying blonde woolyback while away on cadet camp, after he has lied to you about rediculous feats of wonder such as hurdling cars and after telling you that L.T. stands for Left Tit.

Gibbing (verb)
A sexual practice usually performed by 2 males in which a piece of bacon (or any type of food) is tied to a string and swallowed whole by one of the participants. The other participant then quickly withdraws the string, pulling out the bacon and causing a wave of consensual opening and closing of the anus whilst performing the act of anal penetration.

Gorilla Mask (noun)
Take your girl and go through the normal Donkey Punch routine… except this time when she’s knocked out you blow your load all over her face. Shave her pubes, andstick them on her face before the semen dries. It will look like she's wearing a gorilla mask

Jersey Turnpike (noun)
The act of sticking your finger in a girls ass and then putting that finger in her mouth.

Canny, Daniel The (noun)
A slang term for the act of tazering a man, beating his ass, T-bagging him, and then finally peeing in his eye.


The Kevin Wandy, (noun)
The awkward situation when you are masturbating in the corner of the bedroom with no material stimulation (ie magazine), and having your sister or basketball coach catch you.

O'fay (noun)
A slang term for when you fart into your partners mouth, they suck it in and blow it into your mouth. O'fay in french means: Dirty lover

One-Eyed Pirate (noun)
A slang term for when a guy shoots his load into a girls eye and then kicks her in the leg.

Patrick Cook, The (noun)
A slang term for a male receiving oral sex in a car and then slapping the girl in the face and asking her to leave so he can smoke a cigarette.

Polish Abortion (noun)
A slang term for after ejaculating into a condom, you take it off, tie it in a knot, and throw it against the wall. Then shout, "that little bastard won't get out now."

Quimby (noun)
The person in the middle of three man butt sex.

Rashley Barkhouse (noun)
A slang term for when a woman takes triple penetration in the anus while on her hands and knees on a cement floor while getting pissed on and watching The People's Court.

Riding The Bull (verb)
A slang term describing the situation when you are having sex with your partner doggy style, whisper in her ear "I have an STD", and see how long you can hold on.

Rusty Trombone (noun)
A sexual act where you are performing oral sex on a mans anus while simultaneously manually masturbating him.

Shaking Hands With The Unemployed (verb)
A slang term for the male act of masturbation.

Shanghai Surprise (noun)
A slang term for when during sex you poke your partner in the eyes, and when they can't see what you are doing, poop into your hand and stick it their ear. It gives the impression of pooping in their ear.

Sherbert Dip (noun)
A sexual act involving covering the penis in cocaine and having penetrative sex. (very expensive)

Snowblow (verb)
A slang term for when a girl puts snow or ice in her mouth and then gives a guy a blowjob.

Soggy Biscuit (noun)
When several people ejaculate onto a biscuit and the last person who ejaculates has to eat the biscuit. See also, Eating the Cracker, Kyle

Stinky Pete (noun)
A slang term for when a male doesn't wash his testicles for a long period of time and then tea bags someone.

Swirley (noun)
A slang term for the act of ejaculating into a woman's face, then shoving her head in a toilet and flushing it, holding her head down in the water until she passes out.

Three Mile Island (noun)
A slang term for when a guy is having sex doggy style, his partner farts and it smells so bad that he has to evacuate.

Tony Danza (noun)
While performing doggie-style intercourse, the male exits the woman's vagina then surprisingly pops his penis into her ass and asks her "Whos' the boss?"

Top-Off (verb)
A slang term for after the male reaches orgasm during anal sex, the penis is left inside the recipient until it becomes flacid, at which time the male proceeds to urinate into the anus.

Wes's Caress (noun)
A slang term for when a male pops his penis into his roomate's ass during the middle of the night. see also, the Carlos Hickey

Wounded Pigeon (noun)
A slang term for the act of breaking your partner's arm and then forcing them to give you a hand job.

The Kyle Johnston (verb)
The act of masturbating while crying into a coors light and talking on the phone with a family member.

The Grave Robber (noun)
The act of digging up the dead and performing oral sex on the cadaver. Orgasm is simulated by the sudden release of embalming fluid from genital area.


Angry Dragon
Immediately after you blow your load in a girl's mouth, smack the back
of her head and make it come out her nose. When she gets up she'll look
like an angry dragon.

Arabian Goggles
A "seldom-seen" maneuver when you put your testicles over her eye
sockets while getting head.
(Picture it: ass on forehead) It may be anatomically impossible, but
what the fuck else is new.

The Bait N' Tackle
The sailors used this one in the old Navy days. Before you go off for
a long, lonely voyage, get yourself a tall jar and fill it completely
with earthworms. When you get lonely, open the jar and fuck away. The
earthworms will provide some slithery stimulation, and your protein
load will keep them nicely fed. Gone fishing!

Ballsacking
Takes some luck of the gene pool, but if you're able to do it, always
great fun. While you are straddling her, take your nutsack and spread
it out over her face like pizza dough.

Bear Claw
A synonym for extremely large pussy lips.

Beef Curtain
The shanked out remains of the labia after being stretched like
Play-Doh from an hour or so of jimmy-jam.

Beer Dick
This is what most guys get after a good night of drinking. They tend
to fuck anything with a pussy while experiencing beer dick.

Blumpy
You need to find a real tramp to do this right. It involves having her
sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

The Bronco
You start by going doggy style and then just when she is really
enjoying it, you grab her tits as tight as possible and yell another
girls name. This gives you the feeling of riding a wild bronco as she
desperately tries to buck you off.

Brown Bagging It
Sometimes you meet a girl with a body like there's no tomorrow but a
face like a mangy dog. Don't let that body go to waste and let her
hideousness stop you from fucking her though. Just draw the smiley
face on a brown paper bag, place it over her head, and fuck away while
keeping your composure and piece of mind.

Brown Necktie
You're about halfway through ass-wrecking a chick, and instead of
filling up her keister with your demonseed, you pull out and proceed
to tittie fuck her, leaving a brown streak between the funbags.

Brunski or Bronski
When a man puts his face between a woman's breasts and quickly moves
his head back and forth while saying "Brunski" in a very drawn out and
exaggerated manner. (There are many other variant names.)

The Bullwinkle
The sign given to a friend in hiding while doggie styling' some chick.
It is performed by placing both hands over the head, with palms facing
out and waving wildly. Can be supplemented by shouting "Hey Rocky."
(Make sure to use appropriate Bullwinkle voice tone.)

Butter Face
When you see a chick with an awesome body, "but her face", is nasty.

The Canine Special
Liberally apply peanut butter to your dick and call over the family
dog. Lick Ubu lick. Good Dog. Arf!

The Carpet Cleaner
While banging a girl doggy style, tie her arms behind her back, lift
up her hips, and run around the room pushing her face first across the
carpet. Not recommended with fat/large women most often seen at ham fests.

The Chili Dog
When you take a hot dump on a girl's tits and then proceed to titty
fuck her.

Chocolate Pizza
Happily discovering hemorrhoids while eating a shitty brown eye.

Cleveland Steamer
The act of leaving a shit stain on the rib cage of a woman while
receiving penile pleasure from friction between the mammaries.

Cock-Stuffing
Apparently somewhat on the fringe in gay circles, but involves using
thin, cylindrical items (thermometers, wire, rubber worms, etc.), and
inserting them into the dick hole. Over many months, continue to
gradually ream out the hole-at-the-head with larger items, thus
ultimately allowing your "buddy" to obtain the goal of fucking your
urethra. Wow!

Cold Lunch
The act of vomiting directly onto some chick's head while she's
performing fellatio.

The Concoction
First, ejaculate all over the floor. Next, have your psycho bitch
girlfriend menstruate on your semen. Stir it with your finger until
you get a nice thick pink mixture. Proceed to paint yourselves up
silly, just as if you were in kindergarten again.

The Compton Gangbang
You meet a young lady at the bar. She tells you she has a boyfriend,
but she ends up going home with you anyway for a one-night stand.
When you take her to your place, tell your friends to wait outside
your bedroom door. Just when she's about to get off, your friends
barge in the room and plainly beat the shit out of her. That should
teach her not to fuck around. (Ladies, feel free to perform a Compton
Gangbang on guys too. I know you've got some fat girlfriends to help
you out.)

Cop's Delight
The act of taking a girl in the ass, pulling out, and spewing all
over her "pastry buns", thus transforming her rump into the allusion
of an oversized, quivering glazed donut.

The Corkscrew
Cross your fingers, middle over index. Twist your wrist back and forth
and go to work on your desired orifice. With practice, you'll have the
effectiveness of a dill press and within weeks you'll be able to bore
through wood.

"Corn"
Originating from the fine campus of Cornell University comes this
unique, rarely used term. Saying that a girl is "Corn" means, she is
so fucking hot, so beautiful, so utterly drop-dead gorgeous, that you
would happily eat the corn out of her shit. Can be used as a great
pick-up line or friendly compliment, for instance; "Baby, you're more
Corn than Green Giant", or "Damn bitch, you are Corn!"

Couch Bombing
When you fill a small ziploc sandwich bag with Crisco (or your
favorite lubrication) and place it between the cushions on the couch.
You then proceed to fuck the couch as if it were a woman...but no need
to buy It dinner first

Coyote
This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty wombat and you
know you've got to give her the slip. However, you realize that your
arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must gnaw off your own arm to
get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

Cum Dumpster
A quadriplegic whore.

Cum Guzzling Sperm Burping Bitch
The once in a lifetime act when blowing a hot steamy load down the
back of the girl's throat, proceed to give her a large cold bottle of
your most favorite carbonated drink and make her guzzle it down. Then,
shake her head vigorously back and forth to create the Cum Guzzling,
Sperm Burping effect. A great way to impress your friends.

Daisy Chain
Partner (A) is sucking off or eating out partner (B) who is sucking
off or eating out partner (C) and so on until the final person is
sucking off or eating out partner (A). Partners can be gay, lesbian
or straight.

Davey Crockett
A sexual maneuver in which you slip muscle relaxants into your gal's
snizzpod, then slide your head in, thus wearing your partner's
now-relaxed snatch-fur as a coonskin cap. Can come in handy on those
cold winter nights.

Dirty Sanchez
A time honored event in which while laying the bone doggie style, you
insert your finger into her asshole. You then pull it out and wipe it
across her upper lip leaving a thin shit mustache. This makes her look
like someone whose name is Dirty Sanchez.

Dirty Swirly
While boning a chick doggie style near a toilet (preferably one filled
with a healthy load of shit, or some hot piss, or both), stick her
head in the toilet and flush...she'll dig it.

Dog In A Bathtub
This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a
girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a
dog in the tub while giving it a bath.


Donkey Punch

Banging a girl doggy style and then moments before you cum, you stick
your dick in her ass, and then punch her in the back of the neck. The
blow to the neck will stun the muscles in the female's ass, which will
constrict the penis and give you a tremendous orgasmic experience when
you ejaculate.

Duct Tape Trick
Wrapping a hamster in duct tape so you can safely fuck it without the
danger of a messy split.

Dutch Oven
tEntrapping an unsuspecting sleeping partner in a world of ass odor by
farting under the covers and pulling them over her head (and yours as
well if you're into that sort of thing).

Dutch Treat
The unexpected result of a Dutch Oven gone terribly awry. Can be very
messy.

DVDA
The abbreviation for "double-anal, double-vaginal". This is the term
used when a girl takes four cocks in two holes. A hard core porn
industry norm.


The Electric Chair
Your psychobitch girlfriend decides she wants to try something kinky,
so she props your stupid naive ass up in a chair, strips you down, and
ties you up. After arousing you, she then takes a car battery and
clamps two jumper cables to each nut sack. This causes you to have all
sorts of synapses, spasms, and convulsions. She then mounts your
Frankenstein and proceeds to get electrofucked. Warning! May cause
erectile dysfunction after performed.

Felching
A gay activity which I do not condone at all. It happens when one fag
fucks another fag in the ass and then sucks the jizz out with a straw.
Only included for those of you who are considering going to jail.


The Fish Eye
From behind, you shove both fists in her ass (or his if in prison).
Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motionsignaling that
she has been there and done that.


Fish-Hook
When you pull back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up
her anus.


The Fire Island
This consists of telling someone you're going to spunk on their face
while they are asleep, only half-jokingly, and then when they don't
believe you, doing it just to prove that you're that demented.


Flaming Amazon
This one's for all you pyromaniacs out there. When your screwing some
chick, right when your about to cum, you pull out and quickly grab the
nearest lighter and set her pubes on fire, then...extinguish the
flames with your jizz!

Flooding The Cave
Inserting the penis into a woman's pussy and then urinating inside
her. Applies to butt pirates as well.

The Flying Camel
A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering
her from your knees. You very carefully move forward and prop yourself
(without using your arms) on your dick while it is still inserted in
her vagina. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long
shrieking howl much like a flying camel. Strictly a class move. The
Flying Dutchman. This didn't used to be a specific deviant sexual
act, it was just a phrase that sounded dirty and would be shouted out
during intercourse on occasion simply for the novelty factor. However,
its popularity increased and it has now developed into a specific act,
namely that of, just as you are about to blow a load, in any sort of
sexual situation (even masturbation for those true pioneers who are
constantly on the cutting edge of the sexual revolution) you begin to
shout, "Here comes the Flying Dutchman!" This should confuse your
sexual partner (or whoever is in hearing range) completely, sometimes
causing interesting side effects.


The Fountain Of You
While sitting on her face and having her eat your ass, jerk off like a
madman. Build up as much pressure as possible before you release and
spew like a venerable geyser all over her face, neck and tits.
(Better in her bed)


Fur Ball
You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who has a mane between her
legs the size of Lionel Richie's afro, a mammoth hair ball gets
lodged into your throat.


Gobstopper
With two hands, spread your tramp's anus open, then spit a big-ass
loogie down the asshole then close it back up. You can give her a
smack on the ass when you're done, if you want.


Golden Shower
Any form of dropping piss all over your partner. Great for those who
like watersports.


Greek
The act of using your "glue stick" (if you know what I'm saying) and
gluing your gal's eyes closed with your man seed. E.g. "Hey guys,
check it out, I just greeked her!" or "Sorry honey, but you asked for
the Greek salad


Ham And Cheese Sandwich
Eating a woman's box after you ejaculate all over it. A delightful,
tasty combination of her yummy meat curtains with your added cheesy
topping is sure to appeal to anyone's appetite.


Hershey Highway
When plugging your girl in the ass, you run into some hot diarrhea.
Don't hurt her feelings by getting grossed out though, just pretend
it's extra lube.


High Dive
The skill of pulling your Johnson all the way out of your partner's
hole and in one motion jamming it home again. Best suited for use in
the corn hole, but can be very dangerous.


The Hindenburg
When some slut who is so bad at oral sex, you're forced to cry "Oh!
The humanity!" as her teeth scrape your man tool.


Hogging
While intoxicated, high, or just plain desperate, you go searching for
the fattest bitch you can find and proceed to ride her like a Harley.
Best accomplished with large groups friends.


Hole In One
The act of sticking your dick in your own ass. Just try not to get a
huge boner once it's in, or you'll get a nice snapparoo.


Hotdog In A Hallway
When laying the pipe, you realize your dick isn't even touching the
walls of her vagina, kind of like tossing a hotdog in a hallway. Most
frequently happens when banging the neighborhood trick or if you're
slinging a small dick.


Hot Karl
The act in which a woman sucks the cock of the same man who moments
earlier was balls deep in her can.


Hot Karl Candy Cane
A variation of the above in which the man who is receiving the oral
cock cleaning gives the woman a reach around.


Hot Lunch
The result of defecating a tube of shit directly into a girl's mouth.


Hummer
The well known added variation to a blowjob in which a broad hums her
favorite tune while she sucks away. The vibrations felt against your
dick will most definitely produce a healthy orgasm.

The Hunter Gatherer
You and your partner defecate while 69ing. Pretty much
self-explanatory.

The Indian Cock Burn
While a chick sucks you off, she twists her hand around your shaft as
if she was trying to give you an Indian burn.


The Jedi Mind Trick
When banging your partner, you repeatedly shout "I'm NOT fucking you,
I'm NOT fucking you".


The Jelly Donut
Give some skank a facial and follow it up with a swift pimp crack in
the nose. The resulting blood and jizz that covers her face bears a
resemblance to a jelly donut.


The Juanita Special Bean Dip
While your tramp rides you like a mechanical bull, insert your thumb
into her poop chute (be sure to get your thumb nice and gooey), then
stick your brown thumb into her mouth, and slip it under her tongue
so she can get the full robust taste of the Juanita "special" bean
dip.



Kennebunkport Surprise
The act of covertly filling your cheeks with chunky-style New England
clam chowder, and screaming in disgust as you hurl it between your
partners legs while eating her out.


Kick-Fucking
The act of receiving sexual pleasure from repeatedly getting kicked in
the ass.


The Landshark

The woman braces herself facing a wall, naked, hands against the wall,
legs spread, bent over so that her ass is lusciously jutting out.
(hint: She might want to wear a biking helmet and some rollerblading
wrist guards to avoid serious injury.) Next, the guy also naked as
well as stiff cocked, walks to the opposite end of the room, places
his palms together and raises them above his head, (thus imitating the
dorsal fin of a shark) and begins chanting the theme to Jaws. When
given some predetermined signal, the guy sprints toward the girl at
full speed with his pelvis-out, fin protruding, and rams her dead
square in the ass.


The Lorena Bobbit
Obviously, this one is for the ladies. When engaging in some hard core
booty sex, squeeze your butt cheeks together as tight as you can, and
start violently jumping and thrashing your ass around, in an effort
to rip his dick off. (To reach true Lorena status, you must take the
severed dick for a drive and then toss it out the window.)


The Menthol
The act of getting head from a woman who just moments earlier ate a
numerous amounts of cough drops, thus insuring a pleasurable, tingly
feeling on your cock.


The Mellon Dive
Headbutting a woman's big fat titties. Always lots of fun.


Monkey Wrench
When some sadistic bitch takes your dick back between your legs and
sucks you off.


Monroe Transfer
When you and your partner connect each other's assholes with a tube.
One defecates through the tube, thus transferring the turds to the
rectum of the other.


The Moped
A chick that's a fun ride until your friends see you on it, if you
know what I mean.


The Mork
Made famous by Robin Williams on Mork & Mindy, stick your pinky and
ring fingers up a girls ass, then jam your middle and index fingers up
her OMGOMGOMGOMG. (Please note: Not complete until you finish it off with a
Nanoo-Nanoo!)


Moses
A man who enjoys going down on a woman during her period. Derived from
the Biblical figure Moses, who parted the Red Sea.


The Motorboat
While performing oral sex on a girl, flap your lips together on her
clit, thus imitating the sound of a motorboat. She'll love you
forever.


Muff Teaser
Finger, suck, eat, etc. a girl until she is begging for it. Then rub
your stiffy round her golden valley until she screams at you to give
her a banging. Right when her frustration is at its highest level,
stop and finish with a DIY(do it yourself) handjob. Then leave the
room without saying a word. Not to be tried if you want to shack up
with the selfish bitch again.


The Mung
Obtain a female that has been dead for 2-3 days (the time period since
death is important). Then place your mouth just outside her vaginal
opening. Have a friend jump on her stomach, and try to catch as much
stuff that comes out as you can in your mouth.


Mushy Biscuit
This is actually a very fun game. Just choose a piece of food that you
and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a
tight circle around the food item and proceed to jerk off all over it.
Last one to bust a nut gets the prize of eating the food.


New Jersey Meat-Hook
The unusual method of inserting one's finger in the ass of your
partner while screwing her, and feeling her cervix. This procedure is
most effective from behind.


New York Style Taco
Anytime when you are so drunk that when you go down, you barf on her
box. Happy trails.


The Nixon
A variation of the Bullwinkle in which you give two peace signs as
your signal of dominance. May enhance the act by shaking jowls and
yelling, "I'm not a crook". This is considered very bold and is
frowned upon for those with a modicum of decorum.


Oyster
A derivation of the tea bag which is accomplished by numbing one's
testicles with ice and then inserting them in a chicks mouth and
letting the tramp munch on them.


Pasadena Mudslide
This happens when you leave a windy shit between the breasts of a
woman while you straddle her neck for a blowjob. (A close cousin to
the Cleveland Steamer.)


Pattycake
While you're nailing some girl doggie style and your friend is
catching some head off the same girl, you get a quick game of
pattycake going. This makes you reminisce of your childhood memories
and eases the sight of watching your friend blow his load.


Paying The Rent
A position in which the woman is folded in half, knees above
shoulders, while the man holds the back of her calves and bangs
ferociously.


Peanut Butter And Jelly Sandwich
Shit on a woman's snatch during menstruation. Proceed to munch. Mmmm
Mmmm Nasty! (Crunchy or smooth...depending on what you've been
eating.)


Pearl Necklace
Well known. Whenever you cum on the neck/cleavage area of a girl - it
takes on the look of beautiful jewelry. Fuck that diamonds are forever
shit.


The Pig Roast
While you're plugging some girl's hole doggie style, (up the dirt road
or the funhole, pick your poison) she's blowing your best friend's
cock at the same time, hence simulating a pig on a spit. Very Similar
to Chinese Finger Cuffs.



Pink Glove
Hate when this happens. Every so often a girl is not wet enough during
sex. When you finally pull out to give her money, the inside of her
twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.


The Pirate's Treasure
While fucking your girl in the ass, you strike a hefty load of shit.
After you've found this buried treasure deep in her booty, you scream,
"Argh!", like a pirate.


Plating
Take a clear, glass plate and place it on your partners face, then
shit on it. It gives them a nice view without all the messy cleanup.
How come you don't see that on any Dawn commercials.


The Popcorn Trick
First, take your girlfriend to the cinemas, for a nice romantic date.
Buy a tub of popcorn, wait until the lights dim, and carefully make a
hole in the bottom on the tub. Then, inconspicuously insert your
penis through the bottom of the tub into the popcorn and casually
offer some to your bitch. When she digs in, she will find nice
surprise. Who doesn't love buttered popcorn?



Puerto Rican Fog Bank
While 69ing with your partner, release a cloud of sphincter fog
directly into her nostrils.


Purple Mushroom
This occurs when a woman is giving you oral sex and you withdraw your
penis in order to poke it back into her cheek. It should leave a
lasting impression similar to a purple mushroom.


Queef
A well known, but sometimes embarrassing occurrence. Queefing happens
when air gets trapped in a girls vagina, and makes a soft hissing, or
farting kind of a sound while that air is released.


The Ram
When attacking from behind, you start ramming her head against the
wall in a rhythmic motion. The force of the wall should allow for
deeper penetration. Very handy in those lulls in penile sensitivity.


Rear Admiral
An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both
partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything
when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that
you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall
or table. It's almost as much fun watch her face hit the floor. You
rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without
crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips


Red Wings
Another name for navigating the moose knuckle with your tongue while
discovering the girl is on her rag. Be a real man and earn your red
wings soldier!


Resuscitation
When a girl is asleep, carefully open her mouth so that she doesn't
awake. Then, squat over her face and carefully place your shit hole on
her lips. When the time is right, you let rip the biggest baddest fart
ever known to man and see if it wakes her up. Great fun during those
long sleepless nights.


The Roddy Piper
When getting your girl from behind, you toss the sleeper hold on her
and knock her out ala Rowdy Roddy Piper. While nailing your
unconscious victim, you get to simulate your life long dream of
necrophilia. Now you never have to break into the morgue again.


The Rodeo
Similar to the Bronco. You start once again, banging a chick from
behind. At a pre-arranged time you grab her hair with one hand just as
several buddies bust into the room. See if you can hang on for 8
seconds cowboy. Yee Haw!


The Rose Creeper
Seductively brush a beautiful long stem red rose against your
sweetheart's neck, breasts, and inner thigh. Slowly rub the rose along
her smooth skin as you tenderly kiss her entire body. After working
her into the mood for some deep love making, unzip your fly and pull
out your raging boner. Begin to punish-fuck her dumper while whipping
her with the rose and screaming nasty obscenities at her. I bet she
never saw that coming.


The Rusty Trombone
This is what happens when you've got a less then respectable female
(AKA be-yatch) tongue deep in your chute. She wiggles her tongue as
she does the reach around to pump you like a Catholic priest doing an
Alter Boy, thus mimicking a trombone player.


Sandbag
Under an assumed name in a tropical region, you meet a young hottie
and engage in the well known cliche of sex on the beach. Just before
insertion, remove the rubber (without getting caught of course), and
proceed to bang away until you blow your load, without pulling out. As
you dismount and prepare for departure, grab a handful of sand, throw
it in her eyes, and run away laughing hysterically while leaving her
blinded, butt-necked, and knocked up. Especially lots of fun when
accomplished during the spring break season.


The Screwnicorn
When a dyke puts her strap-on dildo on her forehead and proceeds to go
at her partner like a crazed unicorn.


The Seatbelt
While one fag straddles his partners cock, he receives a blowjob from
the fruitcake on the bottom.


Shirley Temple
Pour a can of 7-Up on a girl's menstruating pussy and eat her out.


The Shocker
When you insert your index and middle fingers in the woman's vagina
and pinky in her anus. After giving her a few good minutes of double
duty finger banging, pull your fingers out and give your index and
middle finger a quick sniff and pinky a good sucking, all in one
smooth motion.(a.k.a. Smoking the Pinky.)


Shop Vac
When a dirty, talented tramp stuffs you're entire package (balls and
all) into her mouth, and blows you with amazing suction power.


Shrimping
The term for licking or sucking your partner's toes.


Skiing
While facing in the same direction, a girl gets between two guys and
jerks them both off, thus imitating some hardcore cross-country
action.


Slumpbuster
When a professional athlete finds the dirtiest, nastiest, fattest,
most disease-ridden skank and puts the wood to her with the intent
that it will break up a slump.


Snerd Nurgling
The act of moving your anal lovers turds about within his/her lower
intestine with your dick. Really popular with the lavender boys, hence
the expression, "Oh Lance, Nergle me you Snerd"...


Snoodling
When an uncircumcised homo pulls his extra foreskin over the cock of
another homo and proceeds to jerk him off. Those gays have way too
much free time. Can be used at as a great derogatory term as in, "You
Snoodler!"



Snowball
Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This
happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth.
Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then
gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still
in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has
happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably
already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.


The Snuff
Lovingly fuck the shit out of your virgin or ragging girlfriend and
wipe your bloody member across her face. Take a couple Polaroids, show
them to your friends, and brag that you're a snuff film superstar.


Stranger
Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep and then jerking off,
giving you the feeling of a hand job from someone else.


Stranger On The Rocks
Numbing your hand by sticking it in a bucket of ice and then jerking
off. Spanken not stirred.


Strangers In The Night
When you and your gay buddy each numb your hand (you should know how
by now) and spank each other off. Thus eliciting the feeling of a hand
job from someone else, from someone else.


Stingy Nut
When a chick isn't worth fucking; pull down her pants, bend her over,
and jerk off all over her ass.


Sud N' Fud
When trying to bang a girl, she gives that same old story, "I not that
kind of girl.", "I don't fuck on the first date.", "I'm catholic.",
"Stop asshole.", etc. etc... After hearing all this , you whip
out your handy bar of soap. Then lather up her armpit (or any other
joint you prefer), and proceed to fuck that instead.


Surfing
This happens when you nail a fat woman. As you watch the rippling
effect of her rolls with every thrust, along with the feeling of being
drenched, off balance, out of control, and in danger, you are given
the sense of riding the ultimate wave.


Swimmer's Ear
When a girl is giving you a good sucking and right before you erupt,
you remove yourself from her mouth, place your purple head in her ear,
and fill her ear with some sweet love seed. Hopefully, you will give
her an infection.


Tea Bag
To perform the tea bag, have the girl lay flat on her back. Then you
squat over her with your hands on your knees, and gently dip your nut
sac in and out of her mouth in a motion similar to performing some
kind of fucked up yoga exercise.


3-Eyed Turtle
Basically plug every orifice of a girl in the following manner: thumb
in ass, fingers in pussy, and dick in mouth.


The Tortoise
When you eat out someone who doesn't have pubic hair yet - i.e. you
got there before the hair (hare) did.


Tossing Salad
A common prison act where one person basically chows asshole with the
help of whatever condiments are available. (I.e. jelly, syrup, olive
oil, etc.) I'm never going to prison.


Tropical Wind
When getting your asshole eaten out by a worthless tramp, you break
wind.


Tuna Melt
You're down on a chick lapping away and discover that it just happens
to be that time of the month. By no means do you stop though. When the
whale spews tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry smothers your face.


Twisted Sister
Have your dominatrix girlfriend dress up in some hot black leather
gimp wear and proceed to handcuff your hands behind your back and then
force you to your knees. Unsuspecting, diminutive, and cradled over
with your ass is in the air, she then gives you the most erotic enema
of your life. Now that's some great S&M fun.


Vegetarian Hot Lunch
A variation of the Hot Lunch in which the diner stretches a piece of
saran wrap over her mouth such that chewing (for texture) is possible,
but no actual contact with waste product occurs.


Wake Up Call
Waking up in the middle of the night with the hard on of your life.
You then turn to your fast asleep partner and dry fuck her ass into
oblivion. The clincher to performing a wake up call is to act like
nothing of the sort happened in the morning. E.g. "Sweetheart, what's
that on your back?"


The Walrus
After spunking in a girl's mouth, you pinch the center of her two lips
together and hold her nose. This will force the cum to dribble out of
the sides of her mouth, thus the teeth of the walrus.


Western Grip
When jerking off, turn your hand around, so that your thumb is facing
towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use, hence, western.


Westside Glaze
Same as the eastside glaze, but the majority of your jizz lands on the
left side of her face.


The Woody Woodpecker
When a girl is sucking on your balls, tap your cock on her forehead.


The Zombie Mask
While getting head from your favorite, unsuspecting, trash-barrel
whore, tell her you want her to look right up at you with those pretty
little eyes" when you blow your load. Then, just when you're ready to
spew a good week's worth of goo, blast that hefty load in both eyes.
This temporary state of blindness will produce the zombie effect as
she stumbles around the room with arms outstretched, and moaning like
the walking dead.

[wigglesworth]

i havent tried any of those.... no comment

[Stooka]

sex acts i have not tried: *

[gg]

Thanks for the copy and paste job, ace