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l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s
i did it for the lulz
 
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Ok... I think I got my mom pregnant.


First a bit of background:

My mom and dad got divorced about six years ago. Since then it’s just been my mom, my sister and I. I get to see my dad once a month as he lives in Toronto and I live in Calgary. It’s hard to fly up and visit him as much as I’d like to due to this little thing called money which my family is short of. I’ve also haven’t seen my mom with another man since the divorce since she wants us to grow up before she gets involved in a relationship again.

The Event:

About four weeks ago my dad called my mom up in a drunken rampage and screamed at her for a good hour about how he was cheating on her while they were married, how he’s not going to pay child support and how my mom was the scum of the earth. This caused my mom to fall into an emotional breakdown and she was pretty fucked up that night. I came home from work and she was completely drunk. To be honest, I’ve never seen someone so drunk in my entire life. She was telling me about the phone call and how she wished my dad would just die. She was really open with her feelings and emotions and she was telling me a lot.

She offered me some Vodka and I accepted, as I go crazy for that stuff. I love Vodka and I really just wanted to help her out. The last thing I wanted to do is refuse something from her and then have her start crying again. I had about seven shots and I started to get a little tipsy when she put her arm on me. Now usually I just push away as I hate the ‘mushy’ stuff from my mom. She always wants to spend time with me and touch me in a ‘mom – son’ way. Just love for your child I suppose but this time, I just accepted it I was really too drunk to care.

What happened after this was completely unexpected. I’ve never thought about my mom this way before, not even the slightest. She’s my mom for fuck sakes. My mom told me to shut my eyes, and she kissed me on the lips. I was completely stunned. I didn’t know what to do so I just sat there.

“I love you Eric”

“Umm… I love you too mom”

By this point, I was completely confused, even more so for a drunk. I didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on.

“No, Not like that Eric…”

She put her hand on my lap over my family jewels and then kissed me again. She then started kissing me furiously and passionately. She then pulled off her shirt and mine and pretty much, well pushed me onto the floor. She was on top of me and there was really not much I could do. I was being seduced by my own mom. I couldn’t believe it. Then we made a huge mistake…we had sex. I didn’t even want this. I didn’t even want my mom to touch me; I hate it when she touches me but the effects of alcohol took its place and turned us into horrible monsters. Although I don’t like to admit it, I had never had sex this great. We finished up and she left to go to the washroom to clean up. I don’t remember anything else about the night. I probally went to sleep waiting for her to come back. A lot of the night is fragmented and even today I still have trouble remembering it completely. In the morning she never mentioned it at all and she acted completely normal despite the fact that she fucked her own son.

The Problem:

Everything went fine up until today when my mom called me up at work.

“Eric, we need to talk. It’s really important”

I didn’t know what was going on. I thought maybe someone died or she found my porn stash.

“Yeah Mom... What is it?”

“I feel really uncomfortable about it; I don’t think I can explain it to you on the Phone”

I told my mom that was alright and I’d be home from work in an hour and we could talk about it then.

I get home and I see that my mom is sitting on the couch. Her face was all red, and I could tell that something really bad happened. It looked like she was crying for a long time.

“What’s wrong?” I asked her

“I think I’m pregnant”

I was completely shocked. My mom hasn’t even dated another guy since she divorced my dad and I was a hundred percent sure that she wasn’t seeing another guy.

“Did you take a test?”

“Yeah, it’s positive”

We just sat there completely still. I didn’t know what to say.

When I was about four years old I had to have a testicle brought down. I’m not exactly sure what they do, but it was too high up. They said that I wouldn’t be able to produce any little guys from it, but I was fine with my other. However, in grade 10 I had to have my other one removed because it became cancerous. Some sperm was taken and it’s in a lab in Michigan frozen for when I want to have children. Because of all this, I’m infertile at least, that's what I think. She doesn’t know this because I don’t particularly enjoy talking about my body with other people.

What should I do? I want to call her out and find out what’s going on. This entire dilemma is killing me psychologically.

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34664fbbd47d9d150d2a253d769b120b [y yuo throw haet :( :(] porn may <3's yuo.
Old 10-01-2005, 11:56 PM l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s is offline  
#1  
l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s
i did it for the lulz
 
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VALUT!!!!1111
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34664fbbd47d9d150d2a253d769b120b [y yuo throw haet :( :(] porn may <3's yuo.
Old 10-01-2005, 11:56 PM l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s is offline  
#2  
Tikiman
Imolestsmallchildren
 
b7
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Currently sucking down china man sperm by the gallons.
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b95ce10ca8df32044db84030b14915c504c313df
Old 10-01-2005, 11:56 PM Tikiman is offline  
#3  
The Tracer
I blew my penis up and all I got was this lousy title.
 
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for a bruzen.
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against the grain
Old 10-01-2005, 11:56 PM The Tracer is offline  
#4  
Genualdi
Hungry Hungry Hippo
 
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ibtl
Old 10-01-2005, 11:57 PM Genualdi is offline  
#5  
Thantos
 
i do think you should actually be banned. i'm completely serious.
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Teachers definitely do not teach counter-strike.
Old 10-01-2005, 11:57 PM Thantos is offline  
#6  
marflord
Motherfucking cunt-shit douchebag cumsucking bitches
 
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You forgot "serios replys only, I'm fuckin crying about this"
Old 10-01-2005, 11:57 PM marflord is offline  
#7  
Intrinsic
 
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VAULT THIS SHIT
Old 10-01-2005, 11:57 PM Intrinsic is offline  
#8  
Maniacal142
Badluck Schleprock
 
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*This section removed*
Old 10-01-2005, 11:57 PM Maniacal142 is offline  
#9  
l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s
i did it for the lulz
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marflord
You forgot "serios replys only, I'm fuckin crying about this"


i edited that part out
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34664fbbd47d9d150d2a253d769b120b [y yuo throw haet :( :(] porn may <3's yuo.
Old 10-01-2005, 11:58 PM l0llerb3rri3sk33kl3s is offline  
#10  
Aldaris
 
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dataware
Old 10-01-2005, 11:58 PM Aldaris is offline  
#11  
Onnotangu
onnotangu
 
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I sumon the mighty gamera to fuck this thread up
Old 10-01-2005, 11:58 PM Onnotangu is offline  
#12  
Trujew
I have a masturbation streak Cal Ripken would be proud of
 
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THIS THREAD IS COMPLETELY FUNNY AND ORIGINAL.
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I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law
Old 10-01-2005, 11:58 PM Trujew is offline  
#13  
Therapist
IMNobody's last title
 
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DUDE FUCKING DEJA VU
Old 10-01-2005, 11:58 PM Therapist is offline  
#14  
Bob Ewbanks
vengeful.huckster
Master-B = OWNED.
 
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I hope you die in a grease fire.
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Old 10-01-2005, 11:59 PM Bob Ewbanks is offline  
#15  
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