a friend is completely ignoring me and i have no idea why

[bthorton]

ill try and keep this simple. im 20, in and in college with this chick.

about a year ago i met this girl, alexa. we lived on the same dorm floor and were good friends. we played racquetball every week, sometimes partied together, and we even went skydiving together on her birthday.. which i made a topic about some time ago.

this school year, from september until winter break, the only times we saw each other was to play racquetball together. it was always her idea--she always asked me to go.

i was never creepy around her, i didnt hit on her, we just had a nice platonic friendship. she wasn't interested in me either, other than friendship.

the last time i saw her was before winter break; we played a game of r-ball and that was it; same as always.

coming back from break in january i didnt see her at all. not online, not at school, and i noticed her facebook profile was missing. i didnt think much of it, but it was in the back of my head. i finally sent her a text message on my phone asking her what she's been up to and if she wanted to play racquetball anytime soon a few nights ago. she never replied.

here's where it gets weird. on a whim, i asked a friend to do a search for her profile on facebook, and it showed up. i did a search, again, and it didnt show up. this means she has blocked me from viewing her profile--there is no other explanation. and it's been that way since january at the very least.

this probably means im blocked from her AIM, too, and she's not replying to my text messages. i tried calling her tonight, but she didn't pick up. it's tuesday night at 1030; she could be busy, but it's unlikely.

so for whatever reason, this girl has chosen to completely ignore me and i have no idea why. ill be frank, i dont really care about salvaging our friendship. but i really want to know WHY she has gone to such pains to completely ignore me when i dont see how i could have offended her. i realize she doesn't owe me an explanation, but dammit, the curiousity is killing me.

so my question to the bonecloset is not "why is she ignoring me?" it's what should i do?

the way i see it, i have three options.

1. let it go and deal with the curiousity
2. call her from a friend's phone so she wont know it's me calling
3. stop by her house, and ask politely if i could speak with her (she lives with other college roommates, not with her parents)

i fully realize how creepy options 2 and 3 sound. but please keep in mind my opening lines would probably be something like "hey alexa, i know you've been ignoring me for a while, and that's okay, it's your choice. all i want to know is WHY you're ignoring me; what have i done to offend you so? just tell me that and ill never bother you again."

the key thing is her knowing im not going to start stalking her or something. i just want to know then ill leave her alone as much as she wants. im not trying to be creepy, and if she knows im not going to bother her, it's not so bad, right?

what do you guys think? if you think it's okay to call her or stop by her house, do you have any ideas how to approach the situation diplomatically and in a non-threatening manner? any other ideas of what i could do? i cant ask her friends why she's ignorning me because i dont know any of them, and even if i did i doubt she's told them why.

what would you guys do if you were as curious as i? thanks for the advice.

cliffs:
1. good friends with a girl
2. hang out a lot; usually she asks me to hang out
3. after winter break she has completely blocked and ignored me
4. no idea what ive done
5. i just want to know why
6. what do i do? forget about it or confront her somehow?
7. obligatory "profit" line

[ILuvPussy]

she went black
and she ain't coming back

[bthorton]

Originally Posted by TubBoy

she went black
and she ain't coming back

thanks tubboy, i can always count on you to be completely unhelpful.

[Aministrator g]

If I were you, I'd try to find someone who knows her or who is her friend ( you gotta know someone..) and have them ask for you. Just have it be really natural..like "(Insert Name) was trying to see if you wanted to blay some r.ball, but couldn't get in touch with you... did he do something wrong?" Just make it easy, without having to approach it awkwardly, or disrespecting her obvious attempt to want to be private.

[bthorton]

Originally Posted by Aministrator g

If I were you, I'd try to find someone who knows her or who is her friend ( you gotta know someone..) and have them ask for you. Just have it be really natural..like "(Insert Name) was trying to see if you wanted to blay some r.ball, but couldn't get in touch with you... did he do something wrong?" Just make it easy, without having to approach it awkwardly, or disrespecting her obvious attempt to want to be private.

that's a good idea, but i'm not lying when i say i really dont know any of her friends. ill try and figure out if i know someone, but i dont think it's going to happen. thank you though.

[Aministrator g]

Originally Posted by bthorton

that's a good idea, but i'm not lying when i say i really dont know any of her friends. ill try and figure out if i know someone, but i dont think it's going to happen. thank you though.

Hope you work it out man. I really would advise against doing something creepy, especially if you're strictly platonic friends with this chick. Work something out so that it seems you're being genuinely concerned about her, instead of stalking her or something.

[cromicus]

firstly, you can check if she's on AIM using this. if it shows her as online and on your system she's offline, then she blocked you.

once you've confirmed your suspicions that she blocked you from aim, just forget about her. don't be curious or anything, you'll just annoy her. and then guys like me have to console her about why this creepy guy won't leave her alone. so really, you're doing me a favour here

[vinnie]

Leave her alone? Maybe she was waiting for an advance. Maybe she just flat out didn't like you and you were a friend of convenience. I have friends of convenience, some just because I can rely on them do an activity with me that I don't want to do alone. The rest of the time, I block them on MSN and won't answer emails... I wonder if they ever make threads about me on the net... that'd be kinda wierd.

But yeah... she's not talking so you shouldn't be stalking.

[FM 2347]

Forget about that chick. She's a useless fuck.

[ComCuttlery]

Just coming in to second the, "drop her" notions. Don't bother none. It's not worth it. You could do something better with the time, because if you continue you'll probably find out that the reason wasn't even any good.

[Bapes]

She could be ignoring you because
A) she's loved you all along and you haven't gotten the picture yet so she's fed up and has given up on you
B) because of (A) she is really mad at you and is doing what girls do best or
C) you just really suck at teh raquetball lol

I think you should make an attempt to find out why she is ignoring you, I don't think its creepy if you try calling once (from the friend's cell or a blocked #) if at that point she is rude to your face, then just leave it alone, she's not worth your time

[Ignited]

If somebody did that to me, I'd be too offended to even bother trying to find out what happened. If you've considered every possible reason for why she would do this and nothing adds up, then you might as well just assume that she's lost her mind and move on. Some things just aren't worth pursuing. For me, something like this would be one of those things.

[Jynus]

i'de say dig into it a bit if you think you can get an answer. if it was something you did then you'll know not to repeat it... i'de do so just on that principle alone. self realization is never a bad thing...

girls are fuckin nuts though, if you can't get anything then don't stress..

[eWu]

Surprised no one has mentioned it, but she might have a boyfriend who's ridiculusly overprotective and has banned her from contacting you.

[CletusJones]

since you know where she lives, you could innocently enough just drop by to see if she's up for a racquetball game and say that you were wondering if she was okay since she hadn't returned your messages.

I'd probably write her off though, she's obviously gone to a lot of trouble to avoid you. Just leave her alone. If she wants to contact you again she will.