Need some random advice about girls and going to parties with friend.

[Potato]

For about 3-4 months now, I really have liked this girl. She is a good friend of my roommate from back home and he always told me I should go for it. She was in a few of my classes and I got around to a few chit chat about tests but nothing more. Things started to look good because we were forced into situations. I am playing football with my roommates so they come and watch our games. I was really shy to do much but I made jokes that we going to win games by a blow out and she needs to be cheering for me and stuff. Finally, something happened. We decided to meet up at her place for a party and everything was looking good. If, before the party, I would have seen into halfway into the party, I would have been shocked about good I am doing and her reactions to everything I do.

I get to the party about an hour later (my roommates already there) because I had to wait up for a few of my friends. It was definitely fashionably late though because we brought a lot of beer and the party was really dull. It was a little awkward at first but we started playing beer pong and got the good music going. I got tipsy really fast so I was very loose and my shyness went away. I talked to her a few times and helped her clean up after people, allowing for small chit chat. She then went into her room and asked me a question about something so I went in and we talked for a bit about classes and stuff. Everything was going great so I asked her to play a game of beer pong on my team. We played well and started dancing with each other. It was going really good and I started thing she kind of had a thing for me for awhile as well. Every time I was around her, my smile was so huge. She just is a fun girl and I really like her. Of course though, the worst happens to me. Throughout the night, she was on the phone with random people. I got a little jealous but I didn't worry about it cause I really have no right to be. Finally, around 3:30AM, the beer was running dry so my friends left to try and get more while I stayed so I could talk with her some more. After 5 min, this guy comes, really goofy looking, at went into her room. She soon came after and they talked forever. After about 10 min, I got really mad and just left. I know I am a jealous guy and I shouldn't be but remember I have a lot of alcohol in me. I just walked out and tried to cool myself down by sitting on a curb with air. I called my friends and told them to just pick me up. One of my friends, a girl, went inside to the bathroom and got everyones numbers so we could do it again tonight. I was really happy that she was making friends with them so she could put in the good word and all.

I just woke up though and just feel like crap about the whole thing. First, what do you all think about how things went from the story? I really just don't get her. She really seemed to be feeling me but then she threw a curve ball like that. I know it could have been her friend but she invites the guy at the end of the party and they were non stop talking. I just feel like I was kicked to the curb as soon as he got there. Another question is about my roommate (this isnt the one that is friends with the girl I like). Everytime we go out, I try and tell them who I like and ask who they like so we don't get in each other's way. I thought it was the rule on things like that but they don't seem to think so. My roommate was drunk but he kept trying to talk to the girl I liked. It justy really annoys me and I just want to know what the man law on something like that is.

Finally, if anyone has any suggestions on where to go from here, let me know. I am most likely seeing her again tonight. Last night, when I got home messed up, I messaged her saying that i dont get her. It def was a bad move but I was really messed up and upset about the whole thing. Let me know how to recover please, appreciate it all. No cliffs.

[mainbrotha]

Despite what people say, drunk girls are not always looking to hook up.

Just play it cool and see where it goes for a while. You're basing this off of basically one night, and nothing else. Hang out with her again sometime with friends, talk to her, see if she wants to go out sometime. Take it from there.

[IAmTheEggman]

If you want to end up with this girl when the night is over, I see two options:
1) Don't let her out of your sight for the entire night. Girls are fickle. Drunks girls even more so. If you leave her side for a second, another guy will swoop in for the kill.
2) Let her come to you. Talk to her for a while, and then go do something else. Go talk to some other girls. Make her a little bit jealous.

I don't like babysitting, so I'd go with option number 2.

[Potato]

Well, I am not really in it for the hook up and I dont want for other people to get that impression. I really like the girl and think she is perfect for me. I see what you two are saying. I guess I am expecting way too much, too fast. I think the goal for these nights is to just show that I am a fun, good guy. Then maybe after I can ask her out or something.

With the two options concerning above, I kind of did take that option 2 route. I would talk to her then go away and she would continue to be talking to me so I would go back. The girl that I brought, my friend, is smoking and I played with her a few games to try and get her jealous. It was also good because they all became friends pretty quickly.

I think the problem is my confidence is at an all time low. It really shot up last night until that happened in the end.

[lopoetve]

1. Stop worrying as much about this kind of stuff. You really do stress over women, and it's a major turn-off for them.
2. Relax. Have fun. Life is just that: Life. Go with it.
3. Try just asking females to hang / go on dates. Don't analyze stuff (I'm guilty of this too, till now), don't worry, just Q@#$!@ ask. They appreciate someone manning up and just bloody asking the question.
4. Even if they say no: You had the guts to ask. So find another and ask her.
5. Don't try to plan "who they like and who I like" with the roomies. Be a wing: If it's working for someone, back off. If it's not, move in. You don't formalize it!
6. You can't really recover. Just hang and have fun. if it works, it works. If not, it don't.
7. If you're SERIOUSLY looking for a relationship: give some of the internet dating things a try. You'll get some experience and get over the stress and baggage you have now.
8. Stop using alcohol to get with girls. try doing it sober. Yes, you're shy. So step outside the comfort bubble and do something different.

[tHisFaItH]

Originally Posted by Potato

Well, I am not really in it for the hook up and I dont want for other people to get that impression. I really like the girl and think she is perfect for me. I see what you two are saying. I guess I am expecting way too much, too fast. I think the goal for these nights is to just show that I am a fun, good guy. Then maybe after I can ask her out or something.

With the two options concerning above, I kind of did take that option 2 route. I would talk to her then go away and she would continue to be talking to me so I would go back. The girl that I brought, my friend, is smoking and I played with her a few games to try and get her jealous. It was also good because they all became friends pretty quickly.

I think the problem is my confidence is at an all time low. It really shot up last night until that happened in the end.

how long were you talking to her before she got up and went in to her room with the nerd? for all you know she could've been waiting for you to kiss her but you didn't..

[lopoetve]

Originally Posted by Potato

Well, I am not really in it for the hook up and I dont want for other people to get that impression. I really like the girl and think she is perfect for me. I see what you two are saying. I guess I am expecting way too much, too fast. I think the goal for these nights is to just show that I am a fun, good guy. Then maybe after I can ask her out or something.

With the two options concerning above, I kind of did take that option 2 route. I would talk to her then go away and she would continue to be talking to me so I would go back. The girl that I brought, my friend, is smoking and I played with her a few games to try and get her jealous. It was also good because they all became friends pretty quickly.

I think the problem is my confidence is at an all time low. It really shot up last night until that happened in the end.

you're thinking WAY too much about this. Perfect for you? How do you know that? You're putting her on a pedestal which she CANNOT match. She doesn't want that. Don't set goals for a night. Just go and have fun and go with the flow. If it seems like the right night to ask her out: DO so. if not, don't.

Confidence? No one is going to remember you after a few nights if it doesn't work out. You have nothing to lose. Go, have fun, and take a few chances. Just bloody ask her out (or someone else) when you get the chance.

[lopoetve]

oh, and something else. If you like someone for a week: Make a move. Don't think about it for 4 months!

[Potato]

Originally Posted by tHisFaItH

how long were you talking to her before she got up and went in to her room with the nerd? for all you know she could've been waiting for you to kiss her but you didn't..

Well we were playing beer pong with a bunch people around so I cant just lean in and kiss her. I also don't know how to go about that anyway. We really don't know too much about each other yet. I talked to my roommate now and he thinks that is like her ex or something. Really unsure.

[lopoetve]

Originally Posted by Potato

Well we were playing beer pong with a bunch people around so I cant just lean in and kiss her. I also don't know how to go about that anyway. We really don't know too much about each other yet. I talked to my roommate now and he thinks that is like her ex or something. Really unsure.

see: You don't know nearly enough to know if she's perfect for you or not.

[mainbrotha]

Originally Posted by IAmTheEggman

If you want to end up with this girl when the night is over, I see two options:
1) Don't let her out of your sight for the entire night. Girls are fickle. Drunks girls even more so. If you leave her side for a second, another guy will swoop in for the kill.
2) Let her come to you. Talk to her for a while, and then go do something else. Go talk to some other girls. Make her a little bit jealous.

I don't like babysitting, so I'd go with option number 2.

definitely don't do option #1. Girls see #1 as clingy, creepy and needy. If they see that you can't have fun or do anything without them, they're not gonna like it one bit.

[EesGood]

I hung out with a girl at a club last night who was all about me until the coke dealer showed up and then she was all over the place yayyed out of her face. At that point, I stopped caring, and she called me today to apologize.

My point is that life is too short to stress over girls. Make your mark, treat them well and then meet another one. Soon you will have a bunch to call at different times and you will not care so much about 1 unless it becomes more serious.

[Potato]

Originally Posted by EesGood

I hung out with a girl at a club last night who was all about me until the coke dealer showed up and then she was all over the place yayyed out of her face. At that point, I stopped caring, and she called me today to apologize.

My point is that life is too short to stress over girls. Make your mark, treat them well and then meet another one. Soon you will have a bunch to call at different times and you will not care so much about 1 unless it becomes more serious.

See, I wish I could do that. My problem is that I just fall to fast. If I think a girl is cute and I see her around a lot, it becomes to a point where I become infatuated with her, and like someone said, I put her on the pedestal. It definitely is a problem and the chief reason why I just am no good at this kind of stuff. I can't just not care for some reason.

[mainbrotha]

You need a new outlook then. I feel the same way as you do, mainly, but I tend to care less. Take more time to yourself to do things you enjoy and prevent you from thinking about all of this crap. The more you sit and think about it the worse it gets.

[lopoetve]

Originally Posted by Potato

See, I wish I could do that. My problem is that I just fall to fast. If I think a girl is cute and I see her around a lot, it becomes to a point where I become infatuated with her, and like someone said, I put her on the pedestal. It definitely is a problem and the chief reason why I just am no good at this kind of stuff. I can't just not care for some reason.

Solution: AS soon as you see one you're interested in, GO ASK HER OUT! It's not that hard! At lest you'll know that way, and be on your way to a date, maybe.