GF issues with shaving

[Hamburgler]

I need some advice. To begin, I've been with my girlfriend for over a year and a half and we both love each other. Also, we have been living together for about a month now (just for summer semester)

When we first started getting sexually active (about 2 months in) I was really disappointed that she was completely and totally all natural about her pubic hair. At first, I went with it because I was glad I was getting some anyway. About a month or so after I made some talk about how it would turn me on more if she shaved. It took about a month of suggestion and she finally agreed to do it.

She did shave and complained that it hurt her and itched like crazy. I told her that it was normal and should subside with time as her skin adjusts. Anyway, she shaved every couple days like this for a few months, but would always complain to me about it. At some points, she would call me crying because her skin hurt so much. I told her she could stop whenever she wanted to, but she persisted.

About a month ago she got entirely fed up with it but still continued. I told her I would much rather her be comfortable with herself than constantly be in pain just for me. But she persisted, reasoning that "she has to or I wont find her attractive anymore" which I always denied (and I always remind her how beautiful she is). But she constantly reminds me of how I kept suggesting it. Anyway, anytime I told her to stop she reasoned that she can't because "I'm so great to her and she can't even do one little thing for me." She became almost depressed and kept saying that I would leave her for somebody else who would do that happily for me.

This got way out of control recently when she called crying and I told her to stop shaving and it would be fine. Simple solution. After much arguing, she did but seemed to be extremely self conscious about it. She would demand the lights be off any time we're having sex. This sucked because I'm very visual in bed, and without that I can't get off as easily. Whenever she changed clothes I would have to leave the room. When we'd shower together I'd have to take off my glasses (I'm pretty blind) before she got in. Worst yet, she completely stopped letting me finger or touch her there or go down on her (and her on me as a result) so foreplay became very bland, little more than breast caressing and kissing.

About two weeks I talked with her and demanded that she stop this. It just wouldn't work. She has opened up a little, but still refuses to let me get near that area with my hands or mouth (which she used to love) because she's too self conscious. Yet, I've tried everything in the book to make her feel comfortable.

Can anyone offer any advice? I wouldn't want to lose her over such a stupid thing.

Cliff's:

1. She doesn't shave
2. I ask her to shave
3. She does but complains about it hurting, itching, etc.
4. I tell her she could stop. She does.
5. She becomes extremely self conscious and distances herself from me because she thinks I find her unattractive, which I constantly remind her that she isn't.

[matt00926]

Looks like she way overreacted considering you didn't even demand that she shaves, rather you said it would turn you on more which is a friendly hint. I wouldn't want to be in your situation.

[rottle]

As I see it, you can either continue complimenting her to ensure her that she is still the most beautiful person to you, or you can ask around girls or have her ask around her friends how to 'properly' shave so she won't feel the discomfort.

(My gf is opposite, and feels normal when she's shaven. :shrug

[SemperFly]

wow, that's a little extreme...

As for the pain, perhaps she's doing it wrong? Is she using a fresh razor? Any kind of cream/gel? If she's using some cheap $1.99 for a ten-pack store brand razor without any shaving cream at all of course it's going to hurt.

If she really wants to do this, ask her if she's considered waxing. Hurts like a motherfucker but only for a minute or so.

[Mistress_Bambi]

For me, I use a Venus (3 blades) and change the razor blades regularly (every few uses, pubic hair is brutal), and I use shower gel (Caress) since it seems to work better than regular shaving gel. If she's doing it every day, or every other day, it WILL cause pain and irritate the area. Perhaps she was overdoing it? And the above poster has suggested waxing. If she attempts that, it may be easier to pay someone to do it, since I've had no luck using a waxing kit and doing it myself.

That's all I can really say about that. She sounds like she's overreacting a bit but I guess it can be a touchy subject.

[Dominion]

if she isnt adjusting well, have her try TRIMMING rather than shaving.

It's easier to manage that way, and doesn't irritate the skin, as you arent dealing with stubble.

It's a good comprimise, and it's easier and still quite attractive.

electric shaver, on the lowest height setting is sufficient for this. They sell specifically personal body hair trimmers made for this.

[thisisnoticeman713]

wow shes pretty nuts

[Ontic]

Tell her to stop complaining and get it waxed - If that doesn't work, then tell her to use a different lube on her crotch - My friends g/f uses baby oil and she swears by it -

[troyf4i]

Yeah I was going to suggest the same things, either just trim it, and tell her that's just as attractive to you. Or wax it, which plenty of people do. It lasts for a while, only hurts for a minute, and doesn't itch like shaving.

[DJFaceMachine]

Shaving sucks so much and it really can irritate your skin and cause a lot of pain. I did it forever and finally switched over to waxing a couple years ago. It is so much nicer for so many reasons. I would say she should go for that but I think if she wanted her gine to be groomed she would have looked into it herself already. You suggesting it might just upset her again.

[dubber]

by an electric trimmer (norelco bodygroove) issue resolved.

[DigitalMocking]

or you could just get over yourself and not care if she shaved or not.

[brouski]

You broke her. Congratulations.

[mainbrotha]

Originally Posted by DigitalMocking

or you could just get over yourself and not care if she shaved or not.

I don't think it's an issue of "getting over yourself" and I think that's a load of , personally.

Going down on a girl who hasn't shaved is not fun.

[brouski]

Originally Posted by mainbrotha

I don't think it's an issue of "getting over yourself" and I think that's a load of , personally.

Going down on a girl who hasn't shaved is not fun.

Not saying that shaven isn't preferable, but somehow we managed for hundreds of years.