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person890
 
How to Ask a Girl Out?

My question is about what I should say when asking a girl out? I’m a fourth year in college so I don’t think “Will you go out with me?” will suffice anymore. With my first “girlfriend” (when I was a second year), I just sort of assumed we were in a relationship and we never really talked about it…which is probably why she cheated on me (haha).
Would I just say something along the lines of: “hey, I really enjoy spending time with you, you’re a cool person etc. what do you think about us being exclusive?” Or, would I ask her “where are we?” in terms of the relationship?

Here’s some background about where I am with the girl so far (if you guys want to hear…): I don’t really plan on asking her out anytime soon but I have feelings for her and I’m almost 100% sure she has feelings for me. We haven’t really hung out alone yet, only with our large group of friends but a lot of the time we’re together within the group. I know I need to ask her to do stuff alone with me to see if she is really right for me, but I’ve known her for awhile now and she is really chill and cool. If all of that goes well then maybe I can ask her out! 

Tell me what you guys think and thanks a lot!
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Old 05-25-2009, 12:46 AM person890 is offline  
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SaltForYourWounds
 
You dont really have feeling for someone, having never really hung out with them. You are attracted to her, more or less. Ask her out for a drink. see how it goes from there.
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Old 05-25-2009, 12:52 AM SaltForYourWounds is offline  
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Golf(e)
 
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Quote:
I know I need to ask her to do stuff alone with me to see if she is really right for me
well there you go

you cant exactly expect to get anywhere with a girl if you dont ask her to do something. Take her out to eat?

What grade are you in
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Old 05-25-2009, 01:05 AM Golf(e) is offline  
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edplayer
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Originally Posted by Golf(e) View Post
What grade are you in


Did you fall asleep reading the first post? He said he was in his fourth year of college

If you were paying attention you would have noticed that he has little experience with the wimmenz


OP, what do you really like doing a lot that could possibly be done with her? (Don't say jerking off)
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Old 05-25-2009, 02:35 AM edplayer is offline  
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Phil Taylor
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get to know her a little bit with smalltalk and then... we should hang out sometime.

don't ask, suggest!


edit: why are you talking about exclusivity when you don't even know the girl? are you one of those guys who tries to make a formal agreement right at the start?
that never works out.
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Old 05-25-2009, 03:35 AM Phil Taylor is offline  
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mainbrotha
 
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get to know her a little bit with smalltalk and then... we should hang out sometime.

don't ask, suggest!


edit: why are you talking about exclusivity when you don't even know the girl? are you one of those guys who tries to make a formal agreement right at the start?
that never works out.

Others will tell you differently: don't ask or suggest, tell them that you're going to hang out or do whatever. Make a date, don't suggest it.
Old 05-25-2009, 09:52 AM mainbrotha is offline  
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Phil Taylor
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Originally Posted by mainbrotha View Post
Others will tell you differently: don't ask or suggest, tell them that you're going to hang out or do whatever. Make a date, don't suggest it.
suggest is just a nicer way of saying "telling"...

we should hang out tomorrow and go see [insert film here], etc.

...unless you actually mean TELLING them, like we are going to hang out tomorrow and you're going to like it.
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Old 05-25-2009, 10:00 AM Phil Taylor is offline  
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mainbrotha
 
haha, yeah i'm just saying that you should follow up the suggestion with something like asking for their number or seeing what their plans are on the weekend.
Old 05-25-2009, 10:05 AM mainbrotha is offline  
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larry burns
 
so say something like 'we should hang out sometime. what are you doing this weekend? wanna see [insert movie]?'
Old 05-26-2009, 10:00 PM larry burns is offline  
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eighteen_psi
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At end of conversation or casual encounter:
"I've gotta run (etc) but I enjoyed talking.....I'm heading to the (something) (sometime) and I'd like some company, what are you doing (that time)?"
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Old 05-27-2009, 03:18 AM eighteen_psi is offline  
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[H]ard|On
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Apply the same method you use with people you already know well. Pretend it's the same thing - ie what eighteen_psi said. Be casual like the answer doesn't matter (because it really doesn't).
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Old 05-27-2009, 03:51 AM [H]ard|On is offline  
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oleo
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You know how you say to your friends: "dude, i'm hungry, let's get something to eat."

Try this: "insert girl's name here, i'm hungry, let's get something to eat."
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Old 05-27-2009, 10:46 AM oleo is offline  
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Millions
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If you're in a big group hanging out with her, go for the coffee excuse or something similar. "Man, I could really go for some coffee. Wanna go grab some with me? My treat."

It's non-threatening. It gets you away from the group, but you'll still end up back with them later. It gives you some time alone with her so you can REALLY start poking around to see if she's interested.

It's cheesy, sure...but it would give you an opening for some time alone so you can be a bit more aggressive. It's hard to ask chicks out when you're surrounded by friends.
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Old 05-27-2009, 11:12 AM Millions is offline  
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Continental
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by [H]ard|On View Post
Apply the same method you use with people you already know well. Pretend it's the same thing - ie what eighteen_psi said. Be casual like the answer doesn't matter (because it really doesn't).

Yep... Like you're calling up one of your friends at random "Hey, you wanna get some grub? I'm hungry, let's go to *whereverthefuck*." Maybe replace the word grub with lunch or dinner or whatever, but keep that same totally casual vibe and you'll have yourself a winner.

It really isn't tough, though let's be fair... Most of us have been there at one time or another, it just comes down to getting over that nonsense and just being yourself. Do what you would normally do, ask this person to join you and that's that.
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Old 05-27-2009, 01:54 PM Continental is offline  
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_mike_
 
you: "HEY. WANNA GO DO SOMETHING?"

A:
her: "NO."
you: "OH. OK."

B:
her: "SURE."
you: "OH. OK."

rinse and repeat.
Old 05-27-2009, 02:13 PM _mike_ is offline  
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