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Baloneyflaps.
Baloneyflaps
My dick: more mass than the earth
 
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Owwwww

I'm commando in a loose pair of shorts and I just sat on my right nut
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Old 08-04-2018, 07:55 PM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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BlisterDick
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does your submarine sack splash down when you take a shit?
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Old 08-05-2018, 04:15 AM BlisterDick is offline  
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Baloneyflaps.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlisterDick View Post
does your submarine sack splash down when you take a shit?


not at home, but some toilets, unfortunately yes


Even worse are the 'shit shelf' toilets that they have in some places in Europe. if not familar this will catch you up: http://www.banterist.com/poland_dispatch_10/



fucking horrible- even on the best of days you end up with a pile of steaming shit about an inch under your balls sending the full unabated stench directly up to your face. And then, when you flush half the time the water only manages to creep the turds a little closer to the edge and you have to flush 2,3 or maybe even 4 times depending on how sticky your crap is that day. And every time without fail, you're still left with a gigantic shit-smear on the shelf that once the water stops flowing, is left to ripen in the open air unless you fucking use a brush EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. YOU. SHIT.


And... occasionally it gets even worse. When you have a long turd, the shit can lawn-dart into the shelf and remain standing straight up to your asshole with more crap waiting to come out so you actually have to raise your ass off of the seat to get the whole turd out, and if you don't you're probably just going to end up with shit squeezing out on your cheeks. So then you can't even get your ass clean without waddling out to get a wet paper towel because as you know, dry toilet paper will no get all shit off of an ass cheek. Just unpossible to get clean when you have that much shit distributed around your hoop.

But wait! There's more! On 2 occasions, I had a lawn dart turd that didn't finally bend and fall backward onto the shelf. No sir. Fell forward and dragged across the whole backside of my nutsack. Again, dry toilet paper can't win the day. So, pants around ankles I waddle bowlegged to the sink to bathe my balls. And to add insult to injury, of COURSE someone had to walk in while I was lathering up my nads in the sink like some kind of fucking derelict antifa or occupy retard.

Of all the things the Germans are known for engineering well, the toilet is not one.
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Old 08-05-2018, 03:57 PM Baloneyflaps. is offline  
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BlisterDick
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fucking uncivilized and unabashed heathenry
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Old 08-05-2018, 10:30 PM BlisterDick is offline  
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lol
 
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europe is a strange place for sure, glad i dont' live there
Old 08-06-2018, 12:17 AM lol is offline  
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lol
 
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i live in the good old you ess offay, btw
Old 08-06-2018, 12:17 AM lol is offline  
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BlisterDick
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I thought you lived in New Hampshire or Canada or something.
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Old 08-06-2018, 06:46 AM BlisterDick is offline  
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joe nathan
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i plan to reinvent the toilet as we know it.
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Old 08-06-2018, 10:53 AM joe nathan is offline  
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lol
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BlisterDick View Post
I thought you lived in New Hampshire or Canada or something.

those are both states dummy
Old 08-06-2018, 11:09 AM lol is offline  
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lol
 
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Mariners fan takes baseball to the face while trying to make a catch with giant poutine bowl
Old 08-06-2018, 11:10 AM lol is offline  
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GhEttOrAiD
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get a scrotum tuck thru the VA
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Old 08-06-2018, 11:34 AM GhEttOrAiD is offline  
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lol
 
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coughed twice this morning, went to the VA
Old 08-06-2018, 12:38 PM lol is offline  
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lol
 
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itchy leg, might be poison ivy, went to the VA
Old 08-06-2018, 12:38 PM lol is offline  
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GhEttOrAiD
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wombyn trapped inside mans body, went to the VA
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[QUOTE=BlisterDick;25482810][b]PLZ keep door unlock for roach and spider[/b][/QUOTE]
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Old 08-06-2018, 01:41 PM GhEttOrAiD is offline  
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GhEttOrAiD
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woman trapped inside mans body surgically transitioned to woman by VA, realized this was a huge mistake, went back to VA
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Old 08-06-2018, 01:42 PM GhEttOrAiD is offline  
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