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Originally Posted by synaesthesia
'Osteosculpting', a hobby which derives it's name from the greek word for bone, is a small but thriving subculture spreading like wildfire across the North American continent. Osteosculpters, or 'boners' as they call themselves, use the bones and skeletons of deceased animals, mixed with other animals and species, to create phantasmagorical and other-worldly creatures. 'SkullBender', a prominent character on the Osteosculpting scene, is best known for his skeletal catbird- a glue and bone construct that combines the bones of a feline with the wing bones of a parakeet. By mixing the bones of several different animals, bleaching and gluing them together in unique poses, Sculpters are able to create eerie and haunting works of 'art'. From it’s conception as a ritualistic practice in Sub-saharan Africa popular among ‘witch doctors’, the practice spread to Europe, and finding a niche in the online community, spread via Internet to the United States. However, the subculture is already under fire from animal rights groups who claim that overenthusiastic sculpters, impatient to wait until an already deceased animal is found, often hunt for and slay animals, flaying their flesh and taking their bones, which they will later bleach and add to their sculpture. They cite numerous police reports in which various animals, ranging from pet dogs to exotic reptiles stolen from zoos have been found in bloody piles of flesh, every bone carefully extracted from their bodies. No arrests have so far been made, but police say they are monitoring the Osteosculpting scene carefully and will not tolerate any type of animal cruetly or theft of animals.

Plz send this message to everybody you know so we can demand that the police and government do something to stop this horrible abuse of animals!


and i'm going to bed...I expect to see daykrew do great things with this...there is much potential to be had here

And how.

Old 02-28-2005, 03:14 PM shankie is offline  

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how about a nice hot steaming bowl of STFU!

00110001 00110011 01101011 and damn proud of it!

Squid posted..."curdledvomit is the first +10k guy i actually care about"

Old 02-28-2005, 03:17 PM curdledvomit is offline  

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Originally Posted by PopeKevinI
(edit)Do I dare release this into the wild? (/edit)
Hell yes, thats brilliant
Old 02-28-2005, 03:18 PM gg is offline  

SUV Exhaust Gasses Linked To Cancer

A recent study of exaust emissions has indicated an alarmingly high level of carcinogens in the exhaust gasses of the ever popular SUV. SUVs (Suburban Utility Vehicles) have experenced record breaking sales in the last two years because of their unparalleled level of safety, but these latest figures bring to light a frightening new aspect.

Every internal combustion engine produces carcinogenic chemicals, but careful regulation keeps them at or below normal levels. Standard car exhaust gasses contain only minute amounts of these deadly chemicals, around .003%, but preliminary data indicates that SUV's emmit around .5%, over 160 times the amount present in standard exhaust gas, and far in excess of the Federally allowed limit of .005%.

"We were skeptical at first," said Dr Eric Brio, head of the Emissions Advisory Comission, "but after running diagnosics on the equipment we were certain: These results are as accurate as they are disturbing."

When asked why this had not been discovered sooner, Dr Brio explained "The tests we run are expensive and time consuming. Car manufacturers are simply not willing to spend this much time or money on what they see as an unimportant area of vehicle saftey. We take emission samples from the entire operational spectrum of a vehicle, not just a standard RPM range. Hundreds of factors, including height, weight and airflow combine to produce an overall vehicle dynamic. With SUV's, these combine to produce a unique operating condition that boosts carcinogen production to unheard of levels."

While the results of this startling study are as yet unpublished, several national experts have been consulted about this emerging threat. "This is a serious shake up of the automobile industry." said one automotive expert, who prefers to remain anonymous, "We cannot allow these vehicles to continue to produce these deadly gasses, but to convert a single engine to comply with Federal standards costs thousands. The potential cost is in the billions."

The US is already facing disapproval from the UN for refusing the Koyoto Treaty on greenhouse gas emissions, and this new emissions crisis comes at a bad time for US diplomatic relations. With an extended Iraq campaign putting strain on the US financial situation, this newest revelation comes as nothing but trouble for an already burdened economy.

Last edited by Pyrogenesis; 02-28-2005 at 06:12 PM..
Old 02-28-2005, 05:28 PM Pyrogenesis is offline  

Surround sound linked to short-term memory loss

Disturbing data is emerging on what has fast become a fixture in many American homes: The surround sound system. Recent studies indicate that when specific frequencies are produced by the speakers, your skull vibrates and damages the delicate transmitter nutrons, causing damage that is almost identical to that of long-term marijuana smokers.

Research scientist Dr. Jacob Dawson explains, "The positioning of the 5 speakers creates a focal point for the sound, directly where the subject is sitting. Occasionally a frequency will sound that creates a resonance in a persons skull. The specific frequency differs from person to person, but the result is the same: Resonant vibration too small to feel builds up in the skull, damaging the neural transmitters that facilitate short-term memory. What we were astounded to discover is that the damage is, for all practical purposes, exactly the same as the damage done by long-term marijuana use."

While the results are from the preliminary stages of research, Dr. Dawson advises caution. "Because of the nature of this phenomenon, we cannot be sure exactly what frequency range will affect a person. Differences in bone thickness, skull shape and size are all factors. We do, however, know that most of the frequency ranges are undetectable by human ears."

Dr. Dawson and his colleague's recommend disconnecting the two rear speakers to avoid any further damage, at least until definitive results are known. "At this stage we don't know what the minimum exposure time is before damage, so we advise disconnecting the two rear speakers to stop the focal point phenomenon. Until we have fully investigated all aspects, we advise caution when using any 5.1 Surround Sound system."
Old 02-28-2005, 06:34 PM Pyrogenesis is offline  

Toothpaste: The Latest Terror Threat

As strange as it may seem, toothpaste his become the latest threat in the arsenal of terrorist weapons. Leaked reports from a chemical research facility have bought to light deadly possibilities for the most common of bathroom products.

In the interests of national security the contents of the leaked documents have been kept classified, but we are able to disclose some of the startling findings contained within.

The expert Al-Qaeda chemist, Dr. Muhmmaed Zaohi, has discovered a chemical compound that has the potential to bring death into the home of every American citizen. This compund is completely harmless under normal circumstances and once introduced to a water supply, undetectable by traditional means. However, once combined with common chemicals found in toothpaste, it forms a compound that reacts with tooth enamel to form a deadly poison capable of killing an adult human in less than an hour. Top-Secret reports from anti-terror forces in Europe indicate that several labs have been found, capable of producing enough of the chemical to contaminate entire cities in less than 2 weeks.

Several government officials were contacted in an attempt to gauge response to this latest threat, but all replied with "No comment". A government-contracted chemical research scientist, under the condition of anonymity, had this to say, "Having worked exclusively with synthetic chemical compounds for 25 years, I can assure you that this threat is real. Hundreds of benign chemical compounds exist that could be converted to deadly chemical weapons with the greatest of ease. Why, I myself have developed several compounds for US Military application."

When asked about precautions that could be taken against this new threat, he replied, "Precautions? Well, I suppose that bottled water is a quite safe, if expensive, alternative."
Old 02-28-2005, 07:29 PM Pyrogenesis is offline  

if we got pwnt by Snopes, can someone link to our fame?
Proud Member of the Official Pink Floyd Club est. 12/2004

omg! not only is slimer jumping on your furniture but hes gonna slim the dog and then have slimersechs with u!?! -EthanHunt
Old 02-28-2005, 08:02 PM snow_bored is offline  

Originally Posted by synaesthesia
Originally Posted by pr0ntab
Link to snopes busting please?
I searched their site, no results.
thats because i was joking lol
sorry if it sound like i was serios

Snopes has not busted us. We are still go!
Old 02-28-2005, 08:37 PM Pyrogenesis is offline  


teh shennery continues
Proud Member of the Official Pink Floyd Club est. 12/2004

omg! not only is slimer jumping on your furniture but hes gonna slim the dog and then have slimersechs with u!?! -EthanHunt
Old 02-28-2005, 09:09 PM snow_bored is offline  

I'm letting daggerdragon suck my cock for his USAir miles.
Affinity's Avatar
wtf is this thread about?
Old 02-28-2005, 09:11 PM Affinity is offline  

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Originally Posted by Affinity
wtf is this thread about?
Read. Comprehend. Post.
Old 02-28-2005, 09:13 PM gg is offline  

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With this being linked to from snopes, and just funny all around, this belongs in the vault.
But women and water are in short supply
There's not enough dope for us all to get high
I hear it gets better, that's what they say
As soon as we sail on to Cane Garden Bay
Old 06-04-2005, 12:26 AM gg is offline  


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