How to kill your girlfriend/room-mate in 7 easy steps and get away with it every time

GavinZac · 11-28-2006, 05:50 PM

1. Wait til they are having a shower. Find a house-coat/robe (depending what continent you are one

). remove the furry soft belt.

2. Sneak into the bathroom. most likely, the showering individual will be facing the shower head or wall. if they are not, you'll be spottted, but you'll be called a pervert, not a murderer. proceed.
Quickly sling the robe belt around the persons lower legs - below the knees if at all possible.

3. twist or clench the belt until it is reasonable taut. it is furry and so will most likely not leave any marks ont he skin. the person will now be aware that you are there, but may not even be aware of your intentions yet.

4. pull hard in the opposite direction from the wall/showerhead. the victim's weight must be taken into account but -always- pull your hardest. its better to be sure.

5. all going well, your vicitim will smash their temple on the shower tiles. shower tiles are deadly.

6. simply place the robe rope back with the robe itself. as the person's room mate/significant other, it will not be that suspicious that your DNA would be on a household item. leave the body in the tub - it will look like a simple slipping accident. wait 30 minutes to 80 minutes.

7. call the police, crying about what you have supposedly just found. you must cry. it makes others uncomfortable and less willing to accuse you. you may smirk but cover it up!

isajeep · 11-28-2006, 05:51 PM

Why not kill 'em with kindness?

gg next · 11-28-2006, 05:52 PM

what the fuck

CheeseBiscuits · 11-28-2006, 05:52 PM

try it and get back to me

phileve · 11-28-2006, 05:52 PM

What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate

huh? · 11-28-2006, 05:52 PM

huh? · 11-28-2006, 05:53 PM

I dont use tile in my house

p-hook · 11-28-2006, 05:53 PM

Thats not very good...

There is a high chance that the initial fall will not kill the victim, then you're fucked

Trujew · 11-28-2006, 05:53 PM

....except for the fact the robe belt will be soaked from shower water and the robe will be dry?

Diarrhea Connoisseur · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER.

SemperFly · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

won't work, he'll catch you

CheeseBiscuits · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phileve

What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate

wait for them to stand up and trip them again

GavinZac · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phileve

What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate

if done properly, it should kill them outright. if you botch it, at least they will struggle around in the tub for a short while before losing too much blood, making it all the more realistic. you seriously need to put all your strength adrenaline into this. if you've come that far, you need to be commited

SemperFly · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Diarrhea Connoisseur

I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER.

asshole

Trujew · 11-28-2006, 05:54 PM

Dont people lock the door when they shower?

isajeep raped by rednecks for a week.	Why not kill 'em with kindness? __________________ Remember Pun, he snatched away the moon and blew away the sun. http://www.twitter.com/isajeep for all of your net needs.
11-28-2006, 05:51 PM	#2

huh? what? I WON RIES' CONTEST!!!	lol __________________ This is my sig. (>^-^)> <(^-^<)
11-28-2006, 05:52 PM	#6

huh? what? I WON RIES' CONTEST!!!	I dont use tile in my house __________________ This is my sig. (>^-^)> <(^-^<)
11-28-2006, 05:53 PM	#7

Trujew I have a masturbation streak Cal Ripken would be proud of	....except for the fact the robe belt will be soaked from shower water and the robe will be dry? __________________ I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law
11-28-2006, 05:53 PM	#9

Diarrhea Connoisseur Crazy Joe courtesy of '-'	I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER. __________________ [QUOTE=hopesfall;20405094]you are a horrible poster[/QUOTE] [img]http://x013.uploaderx.net/x/laun.jpg[/img] [img]http://x011.uploaderx.net/x/1168904994.jpg[/img]
11-28-2006, 05:54 PM	#10

gg next	what the fuck __________________ bde1e405bdef62e7d0a726c26da82a34 7df6df658d7f85d8b75eeeaacd6aa711 [y yuo throw haet :( :(] porn may <3's yuo. "well if you can't get good strains you just gotta smoke more weed" - tim h ___kai___
11-28-2006, 05:52 PM	#3

CheeseBiscuits	try it and get back to me __________________ U A 2 BUT4 GURL
11-28-2006, 05:52 PM	#4

phileve Kiddie Corral Material	What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate
11-28-2006, 05:52 PM	#5

p-hook	Thats not very good... There is a high chance that the initial fall will not kill the victim, then you're fucked __________________ Proud member of Canada (GTA) Go Ryerson!
11-28-2006, 05:53 PM	#8