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GavinZac
BOO HOO, IM A FUCKING CRYBABY
 
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How to kill your girlfriend/room-mate in 7 easy steps and get away with it every time



1. Wait til they are having a shower. Find a house-coat/robe (depending what continent you are one ). remove the furry soft belt.

2. Sneak into the bathroom. most likely, the showering individual will be facing the shower head or wall. if they are not, you'll be spottted, but you'll be called a pervert, not a murderer. proceed.
Quickly sling the robe belt around the persons lower legs - below the knees if at all possible.

3. twist or clench the belt until it is reasonable taut. it is furry and so will most likely not leave any marks ont he skin. the person will now be aware that you are there, but may not even be aware of your intentions yet.

4. pull hard in the opposite direction from the wall/showerhead. the victim's weight must be taken into account but -always- pull your hardest. its better to be sure.

5. all going well, your vicitim will smash their temple on the shower tiles. shower tiles are deadly.

6. simply place the robe rope back with the robe itself. as the person's room mate/significant other, it will not be that suspicious that your DNA would be on a household item. leave the body in the tub - it will look like a simple slipping accident. wait 30 minutes to 80 minutes.

7. call the police, crying about what you have supposedly just found. you must cry. it makes others uncomfortable and less willing to accuse you. you may smirk but cover it up!
Old 11-28-2006, 04:50 PM GavinZac is offline  
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isajeep
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Why not kill 'em with kindness?
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:51 PM isajeep is offline  
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gg next
 
what the fuck
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:52 PM gg next is offline  
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try it and get back to me
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:52 PM CheeseBiscuits is offline  
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phileve
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What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate
Old 11-28-2006, 04:52 PM phileve is offline  
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huh?
what? I WON RIES' CONTEST!!!
 
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:52 PM huh? is offline  
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huh?
what? I WON RIES' CONTEST!!!
 
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I dont use tile in my house
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:53 PM huh? is offline  
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Thats not very good...

There is a high chance that the initial fall will not kill the victim, then you're fucked
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:53 PM p-hook is offline  
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Trujew
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....except for the fact the robe belt will be soaked from shower water and the robe will be dry?
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:53 PM Trujew is offline  
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Diarrhea Connoisseur
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I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER.
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM Diarrhea Connoisseur is offline  
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SemperFly
 
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won't work, he'll catch you

Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM SemperFly is offline  
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CheeseBiscuits
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phileve View Post
What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate

wait for them to stand up and trip them again
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM CheeseBiscuits is offline  
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GavinZac
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phileve View Post
What if the initial blow doesn't kill the girlfriend/roommate

if done properly, it should kill them outright. if you botch it, at least they will struggle around in the tub for a short while before losing too much blood, making it all the more realistic. you seriously need to put all your strength adrenaline into this. if you've come that far, you need to be commited
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Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM GavinZac is offline  
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SemperFly
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Diarrhea Connoisseur View Post

I DONT THINK SO, MOTHERFUCKER.

asshole
Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM SemperFly is offline  
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Trujew
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Dont people lock the door when they shower?
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I also don't have a lot of interest in being a good person or a bad person. From what I can tell, either way, you're screwed. Bad people are punished by society's laws, and good people are punished by Murphy's Law
Old 11-28-2006, 04:54 PM Trujew is offline  
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