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DoomzDayz
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do you let your girlfriend go to the club without you?

not being much into dancing, i said sure, because she's really into dancing. i figured she'd be one of those girls that danced with all her female friends in a group. Then she asked if it is ok if she dances with guys. I figured she'd have the common sense to dance with them as close as she dances with her female friends.

anyways today she called me all drunk spouting out about how much she loves me. we get to the topic of girls kissing and i was like yeah that's fine if you kiss one of your friends, just take a picture. she said "yeah, it's just for fun anyways." then she tried to say it was like the same thing as kissing a guy, "it's not like i feel anything", she's just drunk and having fun. she tried to justify it and said "it's not like i really like them, and i wouldnt be mad if you kissed a girl when you were drunk" (she took this back later). she said i would have no reason to be mad if she kissed a guy when she was drunk and if she did then it wouldnt matter because she only loves me, etc etc, blah blah blah. what? why are you asking me this? did you want to kiss him? "well there was some attraction but it wasnt anything, it was like 1 millionth of what i feel for you"

i was like uhh um no it wouldn't be ok, and why are you talking about this? she said at the club last night this one guy she was dancing with tried to kiss her. whoa there, wait, how did he even try to kiss you, i said. well "he was dancing up close to me blah blah and tried to do it." what? you let him that close? "yeah i asked you if it was ok if i dance with guys, thats how guys and girls dance, i just do it because its fun not because i want to get turned on" so you wouldn't care if i danced with girls like that? you know most guys do that to get turned on "no because i know that you wouldn't do anything and that you love me." i mention sexual attraction and crotch rubbing and ask how the hell she could think this was okay, and whether she thought it was okay. she changes her answer. i go on about how i can't believe she thought it would be okay and the fact that she likes to do this to guys really puts me off. what happened to "my body is only yours" ? she said its still true. blah blah blah. her contradictions about having an attraction than saying she doesn't do it to get turned on annoy me.

oh background: she's in south carolina on spring break with her female friends and i am stuck because i had various things i had to do around here. we're in a serious relationship, although it is new for both of us. i dont particularly like clubbing because i have no rhythm

cliffs:
-long term serious girlfriend goes to club
-lets guy dance all up on her and try to kiss her
-me upset
-i answered yes to the following questions quite a while ago:
"can i go to the club without you?"
"can i dance with guys?"
-yes, i probably should've said no to the second question, but thats what her whole defense is based on.

addendum: i do trust her (from previous things, she always tells me her feelings and such) particularly after she said to ignore all the stuff about trying to justify kissing another guy and that she would never do it from hearing my reaction. i believe she honestly did not think i would mind since she asked me. i somewhat regret getting her to never dance with guys like that (she did so herself after realizing that i dont like it and "would never knowingly do something to make me unhappy") because after talking to some people and thinking realistically, people in longer serious relationships are bound to get sexually attracted to people of the opposite sex, especially when away. an outlet like clubbing is a somewhat safe outlet for that as long as she limits herself to not doing anything really with them, as opposed to letting these things build up and cheating or something. knowing that, and not knowing her little club experiences, perhaps would make it better in the long run (although it makes me lose some respect) , despite her will to make this a very open relationship. it's been confirmed that my expectations are too high and unrealistic at times.

Last edited by DoomzDayz; 03-23-2007 at 02:18 AM..
Old 03-22-2007, 10:32 PM DoomzDayz is offline  
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SmashingPumpkins
 
i trust my girlfriend enough to do it every once in a while, but no dancing with guys.

Sorry, but nobody grinds his cock into my girlfriend's ass but me.

your girl is gonna cheat or has cheated. leave, now.
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Old 03-22-2007, 10:36 PM SmashingPumpkins is offline  
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Othersider
 
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(she did so herself after realizing that i dont like it and "would never knowingly do something to make me unhappy")

I love that "knowingly" qualifier!

She's obviously the kind that gets drunk and uses the excuse "I didn't know what I was doing" for damn near anything.
Old 03-22-2007, 11:16 PM Othersider is offline  
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gwvg
 
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an outlet like clubbing is a somewhat safe outlet for that as long as she limits herself to not doing anything really with them, as opposed to letting these things build up and cheating or something. knowing that, and not knowing her little club experiences, perhaps would make it better in the long run, despite her will to make this a very open relationship. it's been confirmed that my expectations are too high and unrealistic at times.

Your joking right? Don't try to rationalize this. Letting another guy rub your gf's crotch does not "give her an outlet" its just another step closer to fucking someone else. Your relationship is on the way out if she's going to clubs and hooking up with guys. Club girls are whores, and it sounds like she's on her way to becoming one. I would dump her, let her have her fun while you have your own.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:21 PM gwvg is offline  
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I wouldn't sweat it. When it comes to clubs and shit, I let my girls do whatever the fuck they want at clubs (sans kissing/sex) because woman are really just dick teases in those circumstances. Hell she even told you about it... if she was ready to fuck some dude she would just do it and pretend to be the perfect little angel.

On that note, go out and have some fun of your own, it'll get shit off your mind.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:24 PM uG is offline  
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gwvg
 
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I wouldn't sweat it. When it comes to clubs and shit, I let my girls do whatever the fuck they want at clubs (sans kissing/sex) because woman are really just dick teases in those circumstances. Hell she even told you about it... if she was ready to fuck some dude she would just do it and pretend to be the perfect little angel.

On that note, go out and have some fun of your own, it'll get shit off your mind.

You and I both know how easy it is to escalate from dancing with a girl to fucking, especially when there's alcohol involved. You also know that having a boyfriend doesn't matter at all if you play her right. Are you really comfortable letting your girls get close to guys like us?
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:26 PM gwvg is offline  
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DoomzDayz
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she was a club whore, but when we got together she toned it down to like once every so often for events like birthdays. this exception was of course her spring break. she doesn't go to clubs very often and never does anything i tell her not to. is grinding known as "hooking up" now?

she did ask those two questions, and well everyone i've asked says that "can i dance with guys" means "can i let guys grind on me?". she usually only gets really drunk around me. but yes, i hate the drunk excuse.

i guess im trying a bit to o hard to convince myself otherwise. i've been talking a lot with one guy who lets her girl do anything if she asks - and as a result, she does nothing anymore.

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I wouldn't sweat it. When it comes to clubs and shit, I let my girls do whatever the fuck they want at clubs (sans kissing/sex) because woman are really just dick teases in those circumstances. Hell she even told you about it... if she was ready to fuck some dude she would just do it and pretend to be the perfect little angel.

On that note, go out and have some fun of your own, it'll get shit off your mind.

i'm liking this advice, but i already told her to put herself in my shoes and she agreed with me. and clubs arn't my thing. however i just want her to be my dick teaser... and sucker/fucker/etc, is that too unrealistic?

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You and I both know how easy it is to escalate from dancing with a girl to fucking, especially when there's alcohol involved. You also know that having a boyfriend doesn't matter at all if you play her right. Are you really comfortable letting your girls get close to guys like us?

i don't believe she would do anything without getting my form of approval in one way or another. her trying to convince me itd be ok to kiss a guy was one attempt. she had approval up to there, though.

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Originally Posted by Othersider View Post
I love that "knowingly" qualifier!

She's obviously the kind that gets drunk and uses the excuse "I didn't know what I was doing" for damn near anything.

heh yeah i added knowingly, she didnt actually say that word but thats what she meant of course.

Last edited by DoomzDayz; 03-22-2007 at 11:32 PM..
Old 03-22-2007, 11:28 PM DoomzDayz is offline  
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gwvg
 
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she was a club whore, but when we got together she toned it down to like once every so often for events like birthdays. this exception was of course her spring break. she doesn't go to clubs very often and never does anything i tell her not to. is grinding known as "hooking up" now?
Making out and letting guys rub her pussy is hooking up.

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i guess im trying a bit to o hard to convince myself otherwise. i've been talking a lot with one guy who lets her girl do anything if she asks - and as a result, she does nothing anymore.i don't believe she would do anything without getting my form of approval in one way or another. her trying to convince me itd be ok to kiss a guy was one attempt. she had approval up to there, though.
I don't think this has much to do with anything. People will find a way to do what they want, one way or the other. If she really wants other guys to turn her on, she'll do it regardless of what you think, and just make sure you don't find out.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:33 PM gwvg is offline  
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You and I both know how easy it is to escalate from dancing with a girl to fucking, especially when there's alcohol involved. You also know that having a boyfriend doesn't matter at all if you play her right. Are you really comfortable letting your girls get close to guys like us?
Personally I quit giving a shit... if they are gonna cheat they are gonna cheat. I don't make a big deal out of it, I get a good laugh and cut my ties.

As for the OP, shes out of town with a group of friends. This is drastically decreasing this guys chances of fucking her. Even though shes drunk, she will still most likely consider that she doesn't know where the fuck she is or how to get around, not to mention the group of friends which would most likely cock block one way or another.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:33 PM uG is offline  
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gwvg
 
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Personally I quit giving a shit... if they are gonna cheat they are gonna cheat. I don't make a big deal out of it, I get a good laugh and cut my ties.
See, thats where you and me differ. If i can't trust them, I just keep those girls as fuck buddies. No point in putting in the effort to create an exclusive (at least as far as she knows) relationship. This is why I don't date club girls. I've seen them cheat so often, a relationship isnt even worth my effort.


Quote:
As for the OP, shes out of town with a group of friends. This is drastically decreasing this guys chances of fucking her. Even though shes drunk, she will still most likely consider that she doesn't know where the fuck she is or how to get around, not to mention the group of friends which would most likely cock block one way or another.
Being out of town increases her chances of getting laid, less chance of getting caught. As for her friends, it really depends on the group of girls she's with. If she's spending time with a bunch of other club whores, I wouldn't put it past them to let her do someone and then hide it for her.
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Last edited by gwvg; 03-22-2007 at 11:38 PM..
Old 03-22-2007, 11:36 PM gwvg is offline  
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DoomzDayz
Happy birthday, fag. <3
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by uG View Post
Personally I quit giving a shit... if they are gonna cheat they are gonna cheat. I don't make a big deal out of it, I get a good laugh and cut my ties.

As for the OP, shes out of town with a group of friends. This is drastically decreasing this guys chances of fucking her. Even though shes drunk, she will still most likely consider that she doesn't know where the fuck she is or how to get around, not to mention the group of friends which would most likely cock block one way or another.

i know she definitely won't fuck him, i just want her to only want to fuck me! (yes this was sarcastic i just wanted some reinforcement to be realistic)

the group of friends obviously didnt care when he was grinding up on her and trying to kiss her. and that's on the road to more stuff.

i suppose i can just draw the line and dancing with guys and clubs and no kissing although i dont think she'll want to do it anymore. what will she find next?

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Being out of town increases her chances of getting laid, less chance of getting caught. As for her friends, it really depends on the group of girls she's with. If she's spending time with a bunch of other club whores, I wouldn't put it past them to let her do someone and then hide it for her.

yeah, before she told me about this incident, her friends were talking to me and saying how great we are together and to invite them to the wedding etc

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See, thats where you and me differ. If i can't trust them, I just keep those girls as fuck buddies. No point in putting in the effort to create an exclusive (at least as far as she knows) relationship. This is why I don't date club girls. I've seen them cheat so often, a relationship isnt even worth my effort.

you can't trust them if they ask you if they can go to a club and dance with guys without you and you say yes and they do that? and don't kiss the guys and tell them that she has a boyfriend and then report back to you?

Last edited by DoomzDayz; 03-24-2007 at 10:36 AM..
Old 03-22-2007, 11:36 PM DoomzDayz is offline  
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uG
 
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See, thats where you and me differ. If i can't trust them, I just keep those girls as fuck buddies. No point in putting in the effort to create an exclusive (at least as far as she knows) relationship.


Being out of town increases her chances of getting laid, less chance of getting caught. As for her friends, it really depends on the group of girls she's with. If she's spending time with a bunch of other club whores, I wouldn't put it past them to let her do someone and then hide it for her.

Think of the whole process of her getting laid in this scenario... put yourself in the guys shoes and look at how hard of a trick this is gonna be to pull when you add it all up... the biggest factor is the fact she doesn't know the area and that she would pretty much have to leave the only comforting thing she now has (her friends, since nothing else is familar and fucking in a club is pretty damn hard, plus this guy skipped C1-C3 obviously). And even if she for some crazy reason left anyway there is still might be LMR to get past.

For the record: i've never been successful with out of town girls at the club.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:46 PM uG is offline  
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uG
 
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i know she definitely won't fuck him, i just want her to only want to fuck me!
This isn't reality. Sometimes everyone wants to fuck someone else... not that they will, but fuck its genetics.

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the group of friends obviously didnt care when he was grinding up on her and trying to kiss her. and that's on the road to more stuff.
If your guy friend was grinding on some girl at the club, would you try and stop him (considering he had a gf)? I'd probally ignore it personally, making comments to myself or the group.

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i suppose i can just draw the line and dancing with guys and clubs and no kissing although i dont think she'll want to do it anymore. what will she find next?
Don't come off all beta male. Just tell her clubs and shit are fine, but you do not approve of her getting wasted there.
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Old 03-22-2007, 11:50 PM uG is offline  
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DoomzDayz
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This isn't reality. Sometimes everyone wants to fuck someone else... not that they will, but fuck its genetics.


If your guy friend was grinding on some girl at the club, would you try and stop him (considering he had a gf)? I'd probally ignore it personally, making comments to myself or the group.

i know i just wanted to be beta... and hypocritical

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Don't come off all beta male. Just tell her clubs and shit are fine, but you do not approve of her getting wasted there.

sound advice without being all beta, although the idea of her doing it just makes me lose some form of respect

Last edited by DoomzDayz; 03-23-2007 at 02:18 AM..
Old 03-22-2007, 11:57 PM DoomzDayz is offline  
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gwvg
 
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Think of the whole process of her getting laid in this scenario... put yourself in the guys shoes and look at how hard of a trick this is gonna be to pull when you add it all up... the biggest factor is the fact she doesn't know the area and that she would pretty much have to leave the only comforting thing she now has (her friends, since nothing else is familar and fucking in a club is pretty damn hard,
In that scenario, I'd get a couple of my friends onto her friends (easy when you have a table, just invite the group over). Her friends spend plenty of time getting comfortable with my friends while I'm there hooking up with the girl, and weaving in bits to let her know who I am. Then, either I take her out to a diner, or we all hop over to a diner near my apartment, and right over to my place.


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plus this guy skipped C1-C3 obviously).
Too many people look at that method as concrete. Personally, I find that if you skip the comfort stuff, you need to drop even less of it into your conversation and just keep her chasing you to get her to come back with you.

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And even if she for some crazy reason left anyway there is still might be LMR to get past.
Yeah, but when a girl has gotten that far, the alcohol usually keeps her from getting to the realization of guilt.

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For the record: i've never been successful with out of town girls at the club.
Try for older ones (23+) that are out with one or two friends. Also, when the club closes, you can take them to an after hours party.
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Old 03-23-2007, 12:18 AM gwvg is offline  
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