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ti-89
 
Dating this girl, inviting her back to my place?

Met this girl about two weeks ago, had two successful dates already. Kissed at least a few times on 2nd date. We also chat on gchat/text every now and then.

We're set to meet up again on Friday to get dinner and some drinks. But here are two problems:

- she has to leave later to go see that new Sex and the City movie with her friends
- We're both grad students. Classes recently ended, so she's flying back home to visit her parents for 3 weeks or a month. She's coming back last week of June. So Friday's her last night in town.

Neither of us have been to each others place. How should I invite her? Tomorrow would be the last time I'd see her until the end of June. Her having to leave later (around 10 I think) puts a wrench in my plans of inviting her back after we eat and drink.

How do I bring it up? Tell her, "Hey, if you're not tired after the movie, let's meet up. I might be at [blah blah] bar or chilling at home with my friends."? Or just be direct and ask her "You're more than welcome to spend the night" or "You should spend the night over tonight after your movie"?

No, I'm not expecting to have sex or anything. I'd just like to solidify our relationship(I definitely am interested in continuiung to date her and she has said so too for when she returns) and take it to the next level before she leaves for back home. Kind of seal the deal by at least having her spend the night over and see my place.

any ideas?
Old 05-27-2010, 02:43 PM ti-89 is offline  
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ti-89
 
BTW, it was her idea for Friday, we were originally going to meet tonight but she changed for tomorrow.

We made plans to see each other once before she leaves, right then and there after we'd kissed a few times last Monday. I was busy Tuesday and Wed, and she had said she was busy originally Friday. So we'd scheduled for Thursday. But she gchat'd me today morning and asked to reschedule to Friday. And after we agreed to Friday she mentioned she has this movie to see later with her friends (I guess sex and the city is a big deal in girl world).
Old 05-27-2010, 02:45 PM ti-89 is offline  
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#2  

PrettyInPink
 
As a girl, I'd probably get uncomfortable if after the 3rd date a guy flat out asked me to spend the night. I'd definitely invite her over to your place and if she stays, she stays, but I don't know that I'd try to plan to have her stay yet.
Old 05-27-2010, 03:24 PM PrettyInPink is offline  
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Foolioq
 
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If she hasn't brought it up, shes not thinking about it which means MAYBE. If she wanted to "solidify" or "seal the deal", she'd probably give you signs or she may even bring it up herself. Sounds like Sex and the City is an out for her after dinner and "drinks". She either convinced herself of this or her friends did or both, you don't know. Don't come off as desperate, even if you are or not.

I don't know this girl and I could be wrong completely, but you barely know her and you have to be the judge. Do you have much to lose either than a two week casual relationship?

What I've tried, except over the course of a few "dates", is to have them over at your place for 5 minutes at the beginning of "date". Have her meet you at your place for 5-10 minutes, maybe offer her a drink. Don't pull anything sexual, you want her to feel comfortable at your place. Make it relatively quick, she'll be naturally curious to look around and go out. Make sure your place is clean though. Since shes already been there once, she'll be less nervous about going back. (Someone else please comment/elaborate on this, I don't know if its good or bad advice)
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Old 05-27-2010, 03:39 PM Foolioq is offline  
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Dongboy
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if I was trying to seal the deal with a girl and had already had good luck on date 2 i'd have setup 3rd date to be cooking her dinner at my place or watching a movie - watching a movie is almost always code word for hey, come over and heavy makeup or more in early dating.

subsequently as you're already setup for date out + drinks you've kind of already sealed your own fate as she already laid out she has plans afterwards that she isn't going to blow off.

I wouldn't ask her to come over aftewards or something like that, I'd go for some good makeout or what not towards the end of dinner + drinks or what not and then basically force her out to make her movie and then tell her if she's good or whatever she can come back after the movie.

basically - you're trying to get her to comeback without coming off as desperate/needy/over the top REALLY wanting to seal the deal. you want her to think it was her idea or very mutual, - not you begging her to come back.
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Old 05-27-2010, 03:48 PM Dongboy is offline  
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chocolatecupcakestastegood
 
You should probably casually invite her to your place, ask her what she likes, and tell her you will make it for her. That way in june, you will hopefully stick out in her mind, more than if you had just went out to eat.

C; x
Old 05-31-2010, 07:29 AM chocolatecupcakestastegood is offline  
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chocolatecupcakestastegood
 
You should probably casually invite her to your place, ask her what she likes, and tell her you will make it for her. That way in june, you will hopefully stick out in her mind, more than if you had just went out to eat.

C; x
Old 05-31-2010, 07:29 AM chocolatecupcakestastegood is offline  
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theNoid
 
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Don't invite her to your place when you're not already hanging with her. It will feel disconnected if she leaves the movie then comes over to your house like that. I would make plans for yourself friday night while she's at the movie. Tell her when you part ways (earlier in the day).. something like, "Hey I'm going to be out tonight with some friends doing <this> and <that>, you should give me a call when your movies out and we should meet up."

If she wants to see you again before leaving, trust me she'll do it anywhere. Meet up out someplace, its less booty call, and less disconnected. If the night continues to go well from there on, perhaps invite her back to your place.

If you just ask her to come over after her movie, you run the chance of her assuming you're looking for more than she's comfortable with and just asking to scare her away. Go out to a bar with friends, tell her to call you when her movies over and tell her to meet up. Have some drinks.. score some more kisses and do what feels natural from there on.
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Old 06-02-2010, 10:03 AM theNoid is offline  
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SmashingPumpkins
 
if she has plans after, you're fucked bro (not in the good way)
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:03 AM SmashingPumpkins is offline  
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RazorWind
 
Noid hit the nail on the head.
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Old 06-02-2010, 11:17 AM RazorWind is offline  
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#10  

BuGaLoU
 
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Personally, If I were in that situation I would distance myself completely and let her make the next move. I am sure you intentions and feelings are quite clear to her at this point. Doing that is hard as hell, and may back fire on you, but its also a good way to see where you stand.
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Old 06-04-2010, 09:35 PM BuGaLoU is offline  
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unknown00
 
dating this girl? 2 successful dates with kissing and random chatting is considered dating? =\ anyways...

my advice is "go with the flow"

i've invited girls back to my place on the first date before. just hang out, see how it is, you will know quite obviously if she wants to see you more or whether she wants to just leave for the night. keep her interested and keep her wanting more.

spending the night is a big stretch though IMO, especially the way you plan to ask. i've had a lot of girls come over, have sex, then they just want to leave (at like 3am). ponders my mind sometimes though why they wouldn't just spend the night.

so yea, my advice is don't think too much about it. you seem to already have her interest, keep it up, go with the flow


PS. from my experience, the more i plan things out (like moves), the higher the chance it won't happen successfully
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Old 06-06-2010, 02:50 PM unknown00 is offline  
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flshdncr
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Just wait until she gets back in town. Things won't change much. Invite her over to your place for something. Without knowing much about your relationship, you could invite over for "Friday night take-out and make-out."
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Old 06-06-2010, 03:34 PM flshdncr is offline  
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Electrikfuzz050
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unknown00 View Post
spending the night is a big stretch though IMO, especially the way you plan to ask. i've had a lot of girls come over, have sex, then they just want to leave (at like 3am). ponders my mind sometimes though why they wouldn't just spend the night.

I would think that they think that spending the night makes it more of a relationship type thing instead of casual sex.
Old 06-06-2010, 04:30 PM Electrikfuzz050 is offline  
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Rancidpunk666
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Foolioq View Post
If she hasn't brought it up, shes not thinking about it which means MAYBE. If she wanted to "solidify" or "seal the deal", she'd probably give you signs or she may even bring it up herself. Sounds like Sex and the City is an out for her after dinner and "drinks". She either convinced herself of this or her friends did or both, you don't know. Don't come off as desperate, even if you are or not.
Maybe she is one of those crazy females way to involved with the story line of sex and the city and just wants to see the movie on opening night like my girlfriend did.


edit: after re reading your post you are a and should no be giving advice.
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Old 06-09-2010, 03:50 AM Rancidpunk666 is offline  
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